Justin Bieber: Living, loving and advertising without irony

"So, what if we took this brand, this preteen heart-throb brand called 'Bieber', and extended it to a starter perfume? Then we market it with the ultimate pubescent girl fantasy of Bieber entering the bedroom, taking the girl flying in the air, and kissing her on the neck?"

"Kissing her on the neck?"

"Then she rides him from behind—fully dressed! Yeah, yeah! It's chaste, but plays into their immature and non-threatening ideas about sex. Plus, the whole thing has a PG vampire feel. Like Twilight..."

"But with Bieber!!!"

"Exactomundo. Use the perfume, get a non-penetrative seduction from flying vampire Bieber."

"You don't think the kids will find it a little... much?"

"Bieber fans, man. Unironic as they come. At least the straight little girl ones. I don't think the cougars and gay dudes will buy this shit anyway."

"Brilliant! Let's shoot this fucker...."