Thursday, January 13, 2011

Everything wrong with America, in a 2-minute infomercial

My God, I both hope and fear this is real — baby sleepers for adults who never want to get dressed:

That's right. If a Snuggie lacks the total ensconcement in fleece you've always dreamed of, the "Forever Lazy" is your dream outfit.

The URL in the spot is not working, but is:

"Asleep on the Job Gray"?
There are even testimonials:

"Hey Guys whats up? I just received my first Uni-Lazy or as we refer to it "the sack" today, and it is so awesome that I immediately ordered another one in Camo and Renee ordered another in pink. I took it to work and tried it on for everyone and now they all want one. They know a kick ass idea when they see one. Anyway just a heads up to say how friggin terrific the Uni-Lazy is, now I can finally begin to live like a human being lol. P.S. if you ever need a sales reps up here in Canada we're your guys hahahaha. Thanks for being so Lazy.
- David"

Hey! Wait a sec, David! "Up here in Canada"? I said "America", dammit! Don't be bringing your trapdoor sleepers of the sedentary fatpocalypse up here!

Oh, dear. We're all doomed.

Link via HuffPost.

UPDATE: One of my readers questions whether everything wrong with America can be summarized in one product. I have to give her that. Although if they ever find a way to combine The BackUp and the Forever Lazy into one product, I may yet be proven right.


  1. It would be perfect if the feet were actually attached. I was just resenting the other day how my feet get cold unless I wrap my Snuggie around them. And when you do that, the blanket stretches out, and upsets the cat, who is usually nestled in beside me.

  2. So what you really need is a single piece uni-lazy that has the feet attached and a large pouch on the front for the cat to curl up in. Add an easy to clean bib above the pouch, several pockets for snacks, an insulated drink holder and a lanyard for the remote control and you may never need to leave your couch.

    I'd argue that we are not doomed. Death and destruction would be a welcome change from the inanity that is consumerism.

  3. I keep waiting for the punchline, Kara. It hasn't come yet.