Thursday, January 13, 2011

Everything wrong with America, in a 2-minute infomercial

My God, I both hope and fear this is real — baby sleepers for adults who never want to get dressed:



That's right. If a Snuggie lacks the total ensconcement in fleece you've always dreamed of, the "Forever Lazy" is your dream outfit.

The URL in the spot is not working, but orderforeverlazy.com is:

"Asleep on the Job Gray"?
There are even testimonials:

"Hey Guys whats up? I just received my first Uni-Lazy or as we refer to it "the sack" today, and it is so awesome that I immediately ordered another one in Camo and Renee ordered another in pink. I took it to work and tried it on for everyone and now they all want one. They know a kick ass idea when they see one. Anyway just a heads up to say how friggin terrific the Uni-Lazy is, now I can finally begin to live like a human being lol. P.S. if you ever need a sales reps up here in Canada we're your guys hahahaha. Thanks for being so Lazy.
- David"

Hey! Wait a sec, David! "Up here in Canada"? I said "America", dammit! Don't be bringing your trapdoor sleepers of the sedentary fatpocalypse up here!

Oh, dear. We're all doomed.

Link via HuffPost.

UPDATE: One of my readers questions whether everything wrong with America can be summarized in one product. I have to give her that. Although if they ever find a way to combine The BackUp and the Forever Lazy into one product, I may yet be proven right.

4 comments:

  1. It would be perfect if the feet were actually attached. I was just resenting the other day how my feet get cold unless I wrap my Snuggie around them. And when you do that, the blanket stretches out, and upsets the cat, who is usually nestled in beside me.

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  2. So what you really need is a single piece uni-lazy that has the feet attached and a large pouch on the front for the cat to curl up in. Add an easy to clean bib above the pouch, several pockets for snacks, an insulated drink holder and a lanyard for the remote control and you may never need to leave your couch.

    I'd argue that we are not doomed. Death and destruction would be a welcome change from the inanity that is consumerism.

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  3. This isn't a joke?

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  4. I keep waiting for the punchline, Kara. It hasn't come yet.

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