Friday, April 15, 2011

F'd Ad Fridays: Nude Coders Wanted

"I need staff who are practising naturists," writes Chris of UK web development company "I am not looking for exhibitionists or swingers or voyeurs."

The Nude House site attempts to present itself as a serious nudist business:

"New applicants will be required to work in the nude from the time they arrive at work until they leave to go home. Nude means no clothes whatsoever and no shoes either. All new applicants will be naturists and could be males or females.

Material will be provided for you to sit on that you should use all the time and you get new clean versions whenever needed. You replace the material with the new and leave the soiled versions in the collection hamper which is dealt with each day.

Each of you - male or female - will behave decorously and with respect to all the others.

The work is very simple in that you contact, using the Internet or the phone, companies anywhere that can make use of the software we can provide. We provide you with examples that you can sell. We also employ some web coders, who work with us, and you can offer their services to customers to get their web pages suitable for free.

You do not need prior experience of selling - just an imagination and the desire to succeed.

You will gain income, in the form of commission, for every version of the software called the Move your Mouse system you sell to businesses. The normal sales price is £2,500 plus VAT of which £500 plus VAT is paid to the appropriate sales staff.

We expect a good salesperson, working full-time, to sell at least one system a day - so you can earn £10,000 a month but you can arrange to work only part-time, if you wish.

All the physical software is actually supplied by the central site direct to the customer and all payments are handled from the center.

Phone Chris now on 07739 259247"

And then it gets really creepy:

"I interview some applicants on the phone and, if they are successful in that, I then invite some to my flat for a nude interview. I can then see if they are really naturists and have the right attitudes."

Yeah, right. Because this whole thing doesn't look like it was concocted by a randy 13-year-old boy — right down to the site design:

Note the obsolete CRT monitors. (You didn't notice them at all, did you?)

There are even some semi-pornographic pictures on the "New Applicants" page.

And yet... parts of the story pan out. There really appears to be a "Nightingale Services" — the purported parent company — and a "move you mouse" linking software, although all the sites seem to be designed by the same hand. cnet's  Amanda Kooser went as far as to e-mail "Chris", who goes by the last name Taylor, and he insisted he is for real. Even though both of his London Craiglist ads have been removed.

Is this the weirdest recruitment site, or the single most elaborate attempt at getting laid... ever?

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