According to Gawker, tonight (Thanksgiving Eve) is the night most Americans drink and drive. There's not much point in me saying "don't do it". Those of you without access to decent cab or public transit services will have to face the prospect of having to find, or be, a designated driver. Why would anyone want to do that?
1) You can still perform when you finally get a chance to hook up with that high school regret.Be safe.
2) Tomorrow, you can be thankful that you don't have to stuff a turkey while blindingly hung over.
3) You will survive the night.
4) That old lady down the road who walks her dog in the dark will survive the night.
5) The loved ones you spend the next few days with will not be your new besties in jail.