Oh my god, there's toaster chicken now

Dig the sunglasses and odd attempt at slang.
That will show the kids that this is an "extreme" snack.
Totally rad!

Laid up at home with broken bones, I just saw a version of this ad during Kitchen Nightmares:



Here's another one:



And then:









Apparently, this product was launched about a year ago in Canada by Janes Family Foods.

The pitch:

"What could be better than a high-quality protein snack straight from your toaster?! All the key things mom expects from a Janes product like no trans fats, low in saturated fats, all white meat chicken. And, all the things a teen needs in a snack - fully cooked, easy to heat, tasty, and portable. This is a mobile generation - and this is a snack that fits. A delicious hot snack that can ‘fill the gap’ after school with high quality protein that can carry kids to the next activity."

And the nutritional profile:

Yeah, I know. It's just a very wide and shallow chicken finger. But is it really such a good idea to have your kids cooking a congealed lump of chicken fat in your toaster? It seems messy. And dangerous.

Plus, it doesn't take a garbage food genius to realize these puppies were custom manufactured for homemade Double Downs.

Double Down at the Dirty Bird

No, it is not consumer-driven fast food mashup like the Mcgangbang. Nor an obscure sport-eating food from the This Is Why You're Fat photoblog — like Ottawa's own gravy pizza.

This is an actual meal marketed by Kentucky Fried Chicken:

[via AdFreak]

Note that I called the chain by its old name, as opposed to the euphemistic "KFC". That was on purpose.

Years ago, the Colonel's troops got on the healthier food bandwagon and started offering grilled chicken and other low-fat options. Their corporate site still claims, "We believe eating sensibly, combined with appropriate exercise, is the best solution for a healthy lifestyle."

[via AVClub]

Made of two slabs of boneless fried chicken, bacon, double cheese and mayo-based sauce, the Double Down has 540 calories, 32 grams of fat, and 1380 milligrams of sodium.

So, an "appropriate exercise" to work the Double Down into anything resembling a healthy lifestyle would be to Running for an hour at about 8.4 km per hour (burning 531 of those 540 calories) or if you actually want to lose weight, biking for an hour at about 25 kph (590 calories). Of course, this assumes you didn't get a combo with a pop and fries...

Oh, and Health Canada recommends that adults do not exceed 2,300 mg of sodium per day. Per day.

While McDonald's keeps toying with portion control in an attempt to appeal to more health-conscious family consumers, Kentucky Fried Chicken has obviously decided their future lies more with young adult males. To this big-eating, big-drinking, burn-it-off-somehow generation the Double Down will provide a tempting alternative to heart-busting treats like the Burger King Quad Stacker and the Wendy's Baconator.

[via wikimedia]

Don't get me wrong. I love a good "bad" meal as much as the next guy. But this idea of competitive junk food eating being embraced by more and more international brands in their everyday menu items kind of turns my stomach.