What the holy hell?!? You would be justified in asking.
According to Stanford School of Medicine, these 1951 ads are — ironically — making fun of other brands' empty marketing promises of being "better for you" rather than fighting against the real medical science that would force ads to start to be more honest about the deadliness of their products a decade later.
Towards the end of the era in which false medical claims were endemic (early 1950s) the Old Gold brand had a prolonged campaign - with more than 50 variations on this theme - in which they touted: "We Don't Try to Scare You with Medical Claims." Ironically, many of these ads in their fine print make outlandish statements that Old Golds were less irritating and thus safer than the competition. Somehow they calculated that the public would not see this obvious hypocrisy. Note the white box strangely reminiscent of the Surgeon General's warning introduced years later. In what can only be characterized as rank hypocrisy, they claim Old Gold's are less irritating and easier on the throat.
I'm not even going to bother with the Dr. Pepper 10 "is just for men" trope. It's a cynical and insulting PR move, and let's leave it at that.
But The Consumerist (bless their hearts) have found a much more original reason to hate the brand:
That's right — the brand is based on 10 calories per serving. But with a serving set at 8 fluid ounces (~237 ml), that would give a 20 ounce bottle something like 25 calories by Consumerist's math. The package, however, rounds down. Considerably.
The Consumerist reports that the United States Federal Trade Commission has ordered Reebok to give back over $25 million in refunds to buyers of its EasyTone shoes because of misleading advertising.
"Reebok made unsupported claims in advertisements that walking in its EasyTone shoes and running in its RunTone running shoes strengthen and tone key leg and buttock (gluteus maximus) muscles more than regular shoes. The FTC's complaint also alleges that Reebok falsely claimed that walking in EasyTone footwear had been proven to lead to 28 percent more strength and tone in the buttock muscles, 11 percent more strength and tone in the hamstring muscles, and 11 percent more strength and tone in the calf muscles than regular walking shoes."
In addition to the refunds, Reebok is barred from the following:
• making claims that toning shoes and other toning apparel are effective in strengthening muscles, or that using the footwear will result in a specific percentage or amount of muscle toning or strengthening, unless the claims are true and backed by scientific evidence;
• making any health or fitness-related efficacy claims for toning shoes and other toning apparel unless the claims are true and backed by scientific evidence; and
• misrepresenting any tests, studies, or research results regarding toning shoes and other toning apparel
I am always skeptical about anything claiming to make it easier to shape up and lose weight. The promises of these shoes, and all similar brands, are simply too good to be true.
Of course, this won't stop deceptive health and fitness marketing. They'll just go back to making their promises more vague, and will distract us with T&A and cute babies and stuff. As always.
Reader Mark sent me an interesting news item from the U.K. It seems that Burger King has had one of its recent ads pulled by the Advertising Standards Authority.
Let's watch, and see if we can spot the problem:
So what was the issue? Implied zoophilia? Encouraging food-based adultery?
The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) said: "We also examined the size of the burgers in the hands of an average-sized man and considered that they did not fill the hands to the same extent as the burger featured in the advert.
"We concluded that the visuals in the advert were likely to mislead viewers as to the size and composition of the product."
This is pretty funny, considering everyone knows they don't use real food in ads. Right?
(Example from nuffy.net - there are more disturbing ones!)
Plus, of course, everyone also knows we men exaggerate the size of everything we can get our hands on.
As the recession wears on, consumers are starting to embrace cheap food again. As a result, the humble hot dog is making a comeback.
Of course, demand fuels competition, and the big news on tubesteak marketing right now is the false advertising suit Sara Lee has launched against Kraft for saying that the former's Oscar Mayer Jumbo Beef Franks have been "proven" to taste better than that latter's Ball Park franks in a vaguely documented "national taste test":
According to Sara Lee, "The suit claims Oscar Mayer is presenting a taste superiority claim against the entire line of Ball Park branded hot dogs - this is both false and misleading to consumers. Such claims contain an unclear and inconspicuous footnote in very small type that also falsely implies that more than one variety of Ball Park franks was tested."
"This is a weak attempt by Oscar Mayer to mislead millions of consumers with false and inaccurate claims. Simply put, we believe that these untrue statements are all a bunch of bologna," said Chuck Hemmingway, brand director.
Bad puns aside, it's interesting just how seriously this affront is being taken, considering the subjective nature of the claims.
Personally, I think that Sara Lee is just jealous of the massive viral campaign Kraft has used to penetrate the social media.
For example, Oscar Mayer's YouTube group has generated an enormous consumer response. By tapping into American consumers' endless hunger for Internet fame, the campaign manages to collect great moments of awkward modern Americana like this:
"Hot dogs and summer just seem to go together – whether at baseball games, backyard barbeques, or just as a quick and easy dinner before dashing off to camp, practice or the pool. But they can be a much healthier mealtime option by choosing all-beef franks, and Oscar Mayer’s Premium Beef Franks are the best tasting ones that I’ve come across."
Kraft/Oscar Mayer is fuelling its social media efforts with a huge weenie giveaway, handing out a million dollars worth of hot dogs last Wednesday in advance of Memorial Day Weekend.
It's interesting to note that the other wiener in the battle, New York's classic streetmeat Hebrew National, has avoided the controversy. Instead they played to their base, giving away 45,000 hot dogs today in Times Square.
I doubt my family and I will be joining any of these big brand sausage fests over the summer, though. To be honest, industrially-processed meat kind of grosses me out. (Did you see that "Meat International" site? Eeeewwww.) I'll keep getting my hot dogs hand-made by a local master in Ottawa's Byward Market. At least I know where that sausage has been.
It was one thing when you let them use "Lust for Life" in a cruise ship ad. That was funny. But look, I'm the adman and you're the Godfather of Punk. I'm the one whose creativity and principles are for sale, not you. You're a streetfighting cheetah with a heart full of napalm. I'm a cynical Creative Director with a belly full of poutine. You should stay away from my world. People will make fun of you. (Naughty language)
Even worse, you plugged an insurance product for a company that wouldn't even cover musicians.
Ig... Or "James", if I may call you that. You've even been accused of false advertising, something I have never knowingly done.
I'll get over this, I'm sure. Because no matter how bad things get, or what you feel you have to compromise to secure your retirement savings, we'll always have the way you were.
Take care of your legacy, Iggy. It means a lot to those of us who sold out before we even got there.
The following is not a deleted scene from Idiocracy.
PepsiCo has filed a false advertising suit against Coca-Cola Co. over the number of electrolytes in their respective sports drinks.
Check out the claims on the POWERADE site. (And turn your speakers down.)
What's funny is what the legal argument says about the industry in general:
PepsiCo unit Stokely-Van Camp Inc., the maker of Gatorade, alleges the ads falsely claim that Powerade Ion4 sports drink is "the complete sports drink" and Gatorade is "missing two electrolytes" and "incomplete." The lawsuit was filed in U.S. District Court in Manhattan.
"There is no evidence, scientific or otherwise, that Powerade Ion functions better than Gatorade as a sports drink," the lawsuit said. "There is no evidence that Powerade Ion will help consumers achieve better hydration, have more energy or get nutrients that will result in improved athletic performance."
The complaint claims there is no evidence the "minute quantities of magnesium and calcium" present in the Powerade drink make it superior to Gatorade.
Let's have a reality check here: the two major ingredients in sports drinks are sugar and salt. Some public health advocates even want them declared junk food, and taken out of schools:
"...a report from the University of California at Berkeley warns that students who drink one 20-ounce sports drink every day for a year may gain about 13 pounds. This is no surprise to some nutritionists, who note that when you look at the ingredients, it's water, high-fructose corn syrup, and salt."
But what about those other electrolytes? According to the sports medicine article on About.com:
Sports drinks can be helpful to athletes who are exercising at a high intensity for 60 minutes or more. Fluids supplying 60 to 100 calories per 8 ounces helps to supply the needed calories required for continuous performance. It's really not necessary to replace losses of sodium, potassium and other electrolytes during exercise since you're unlikely to deplete your body's stores of these minerals during normal training. If, however, you find yourself exercising in extreme conditions over 3 or 5 hours (a marathon, Ironman or ultramarathon, for example) you may likely want to add a complex sports drink with electrolytes.
"We stand behind our product and are prepared to defend the role Powerade plays in hydrating consumers," Coke said in a statement received later on Monday.
All I can get out of the latest chapter of the Pepsi Challenge is that both Pepsi and Coke offer tasty sports drinks that can give you a sugar boost and replace salt and potassium lost in extreme workouts. (They're also good for hangovers.) One contains two more meaningless trace elements than another. Case closed. Pass the Gatorade.
