#carbonaragate: Marketing fail, or brilliant troll?

Europeans are very entertaining sometimes.

Last month, French lifestyle site demotivateur posted a video recipe for a pasta "alla Carbonara" that was nothing like the eggy spaghetti dish beloved by Italians.

Even among Italians, there are variations in the recipe, which is a "tradition" less than a century old. However, the French version almost seemed like a parody of French food by Italians. Dry pasta, bacon, and onions are simmered in water, then the mix is tossed in crème fraîche and cheese and pepper sprinkled on. Finally, a raw egg yolk is cracked on top. What?

The video went viral in Italy, according to Huffington Post, with Italians loudly bemoaning the "death of carbonara."

But let's look at that video again.

Nice product placement, eh? When I first saw the original video (now gone) I swear I saw Barilla branding at the end as well. I suspect, as some Italian commenters do, that this was just a piece of content marketing gone awry.

And yet the company denied everything on the Sai cosa mangi? Facebook Page, and offered a link to alternative recipes on their own site.

So, either this was rogue content marketing by Barilla's French team that went very badly, or it was a brilliant trolling of Italians. Either way, Barilla is benefiting from clicks, mentions, and visits by outraged Italians and curious foreigners.

Hmmm...

Esquire's guide to buying your way out of the "friend zone"

The "friend zone" is a myth, but it's a powerful one. It's a fantasy created and maintained by boys and men who think they have been unfairly denied sexual access to a woman who — as far as they're concerned — should be interested in them physically but isn't.

Other people have written about how problematic this myth is. It's based on some pretty primitive ideas about sexual relations, such as that "nice guys" are tragic figures who women take for granted and that women are possessions to be won. Articles about "how to get out of the friend zone" are even more insulting to women, suggesting manipulative tactics straight out of the "pick-up artist" handbook.

Enter Esquire's "THE DO'S AND DON'TS OF DRESSING TO GET OUT OF THE FRIEND ZONE" an advertising feature that tells men the best way to convince those selfish vagina-hoarders (aka "women") that their own feelings and agency have nothing to do with who they are attracted to.

It's really just a matter of buying the right clothes:

That's right, lads: For just a $350 investment, you could turn that "no" into a "yo". Who could resist a man in this shirt? (Truth be told, it's making me question my own sexuality. And I'm not even friends with expressionless Beard Guy.)

It's nice to know that all those dry spells could have easily have been solved with $500 worth of shaving gear. What was I thinking? The friend zone doesn't stand a chance against a good shave. (Don't tell Beard Guy!)

One of the more affordable ways to show her that you only hang out with her for possible sex.

I'll have to admit, I used stinky stuff as a teen. I didn't know it was still a thing. (Hope she's not allergic.)

I had no idea that not being trendy was so expensive. But if these not-at-all trendy jeans make her think about getting me out of them, take my money! TAKE IT!!!

Bwahahaha!

No, really? It's $3,500 worth of "Look, I know you said I wasn't like those other guys, but I kind of am. Just much, much worse."

What is that even, and how will it help me convince this woman that friendship is just the gentleman's prelude to banging?

Because actually putting yourself in her shoes is way too much to ask.

"So, Madison, you don't think he's kind of cute?"

"You know the rules, Dakota. I'd be all over him, but he wears boring sweaters. So I think I'll spend a lot of my valuable time with him, and tell him all my thoughts and feelings, but withhold my sexual favours until he gets better fashion sense."

Wear your edgiest shades when you meet her, and when she asks to try them on know that she's starting to come around to you. 

(I didn't write that, BTW. It's actually in the article!)

This scarf says one thing, and that's "our friendship feels like a consolation prize".


The author disagrees with me that this article is regressive, creepy, PUA bullshit. But it's time to put this "friend zone" nonsense to rest.

If a woman is not interested in you sexually, your job is to respect her feelings. If she wants to be friends with you, that is not an invitation to spend your time together trying to manipulate her into giving in to your advances. It means she actually wants to be your friend. Or at least let you down easy. (You'll know soon enough.)

If you don't get that women's friendship is valuable in itself, then no amount of shopping can make you less of an asshole.

US government finally doing something about those Mélissa Theuriau fake news ads

Those fake online news ads for sketchy products that we all hate have finally got the attention of American regulators.

Consumerist reports:

The Federal Trade Commission has filed a suit [PDF] against the operators of several of these sites, for allegedly violating the law by making unsubstantiated weight loss claims, failing to disclose that endorsers were paid for their positive feedback, faking news articles and comments on their sites, and, perhaps most egregiously, using a headshot of an existing French news anchor to create a “staff reporter” out of whole cloth. 

According to the FTC’s complaint, shortly after the Dr. Oz piece — which did not mention any specific brand of green coffee extract — the people behind Florida-based dietary supplement “Pure Green Coffee” began snapping numerous URLs both to sell their product to customers and to provide misleading and unfounded weight loss claims in the form of faked news stories and bought-and-paid-for testimonials.

The "existing French news anchor" is Mélissa Theuriau, whose image went viral a few years ago because the internet decided she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Subsequently, her image was stolen and repurposed on ads like this:

That image is from a blogpost I did more than three years ago.

I'm not sure why the FTC’s Bureau of Consumer Protection only got involved now, but they're hopping mad.

Here's their Director, Jessica Rich: “Not only did these defendants trick consumers with their phony weight loss claims, they also compounded the deception by advertising on pretend news sites, making it impossible for people to know whether they were seeing news or an ad.”

From their May 19th press release:

The FTC charged the defendants with false and unsupported advertising claims, including: 

that consumers using Pure Green Coffee can lose 20 pounds in four weeks; 16 percent of body fat in twelve weeks; and 30 pounds and four-to-six inches of belly fat in three to five months. 

that studies prove Pure Green Coffee use can result in average weight loss of 17 pounds in 12 weeks or 22 weeks, weight loss of 10.5 percent, and body fat loss of 16 percent without diet or exercise. 

that certain websites linked to the defendants’ sites are objective news sites with articles written by objective news reporters and that the comments following the supposed articles reflected views of independent consumers. 

The FTC also charged the defendants with deceptively failing to disclose that consumers who endorsed the supplement had received it for free and were paid to provide a video testimonial.

So fake testimonials and ads presented as news are not OK anymore? Has anyone explained this to Taboola,  Outbrain, and other click-parasites of the internet?

Via Think Progress, of all places.