Wasn't the Eye of Sauron always a big...?

Okay, perhaps you're not as jaded as me. But I got more than one giggle out of the yonic symbolism in the manifestation of evil in Peter Jackson's film adaptation of Lord of The Rings.

When I saw this on Ads of The World, however, it occurred to me that perhaps I wasn't the only adman who saw naughtiness in Mordor:

It's just the latest in a trend towards ads that take the "sex sells" axiom to absurd extremes.

Unlike the unappetizing "food porn" campaign I wrote up in November, however, this one at least is literally selling sexuality. Even if it betrays a certain film nerd fetishism in the creative team:

You may remember that gag from Spaceballs:

The other two are more original, but less impactful:

The campaign is by Kinga Grzelewska, Marcin Nowak, Bart Biały and Łukasz Gromkowski at Lowe, Warsaw.

Sex sells... coffins?

Miss May, via kalendarzlindner.pl

Selling products with calendars featuring nude, or otherwise sexualized, women is a very old tactic. Dating back to the "pin-up girls" of the mid-20th century, nudie calendars typically sold products aimed at men, and were displayed in male spaces: garages, workshops, etc. (Even my mild-mannered grandfather had one up in the office of the lumber mill where he worked.)

This one, however, takes the (cheese)cake.

I'll let Lindner Coffins, of Poland, explain:

With the fifth edition of Lindner Calendar we come back to nature, which we express with perfect harmony between Lindner coffins and natural wood, blue sea, red flowers, green fields and beauty of the female body.

Fifth edition? I guess there's quite a demand for softcore coffin porn. Like Pirelli tires, Lindner seems to be better known for its calendars than the actual product. Their calendars even have their own web site, which is much better designed than their corporate one, and is available in three languages.

The first edition, from 2010, features women clothed in fetish outfits, but without nudity. 2011 saw the introduction of weird and violent scenarios. By 2012 the clothes were gone, replaced by body paint. It only got nakeder from there.

Now there's even a "making of" video:



Now it can be said there's no limit to what people will try to sell by commoditizing women's sexuality. Sports Illustrated, watch your back...

Thanks to BuzzFeed's Rachel Zarrell for the tip.

Put your baby to sleep with a hairdryer?

I'm trying to figure out these Ogilvy Poland ads for Philips hairdryers. Apparently, "white noise" is good for putting kids to sleep. But putting a corded, heat-producing device in a crib and turning it on?

Reminds me of this campaign:

...in a bad way.

Via Ads of The World

Fly safe with Durex

Adrants posted this funny stunt by Durex Poland. It's really quite simple, and a rather intuitive brand association with"safety instructions":



The only problem I have with it is that I don't believe the "guerrilla" aspect of it. I simply can't imagine getting that many camera angles on the reaction shots without very obviously making a video. It appears very staged to me.

Funny, though.

KRASNALS - the anti-FEMEN

This has to be a joke.

My Osocio colleague, Marc, sent me this link about a group of Polish women who got naked and posed with a giant penis to protest FEMEN's assault on the Euro 2012 soccer tournament — co-hosted by Poland and Ukraine.

Their statement:

Euro 2012 is unique occasion for us women to earn some extra money on sex-tourism! Many Polish women count on these profits and can't wait foreign football fans. Generally we earn less, usually we get worse job. Many of us bring up children alone, so Euro is a great opportunity for us. It is a chance to earn extra money and in many cases an opportunity to break the fall. 

As female artists, whose income from the art is too low to be able to maintain itself, we look forward to this opportunity too. Therefore, we disagree with the action of Ukrainian feminists Femen who protest against prostitution during Euro - also in Poland! If they want to rebel, they can do it at home in the Ukraine! Poland is our territory! 

We do not believe, moreover, that selling bodies is worse and more humiliating kind of prostitution than the one practiced every day by some artists supporting correct ideologies - in exchange for fame, and money. We prefer to be prostitutes dealing bodies then becoming artists from the first rows of the art whores system – selling their artistic freedom! 

Therefore, we vote for prostitution in Reality – and against prostitution in ART! Therefore we urge all the feminists during the time of Euro 2012 to stay in the kitchen and let Polish girls earn some money!  

On the occasion of EURO 2012, we also created our own Euro 2012 mascot. This is the eight-foot sculpture of an anonymous figure - "Prince X", inspired by the work of renowned sculptor Constantin Brancusi, showing substantial male genitals – the symbol of our prosperity.

Part of me really hopes this is a clever false-flag operation by FEMEN, or their allies. Or even a parody.

The manifesto goes from demanding that "All the feminists during EURO should be closed in the kitchen and not disturb Polish girls!" and moves on to:

We will establish a new order of things, law and justice. All mobile chargers will have the same input, if someone cannot afford the petrol, we will push his car. There will be no more illiterates, science and religion will become reconciled. A square wheel will be invented, testing of nuclear weapons and cream on rabbits will be stopped. Number of whales, killer whales, marsupials and other endangered species (including sturgeon) will be increased. The prices of rye on the international market will fall down. There will be no homeless and unemployed people, poaching will disappear. North America will be returned to the Indians, deforestation in the Amazon will end. The domination of the drug cartels will end. All corporations will become bankrupt. All pornographic corporations will be ruined too, because thanks to our services everybody will be satisfied. Even the Six Heads of Lenin. There will be no venereal disease, prostitution and people-trafficking will disappear. There will be yachts for everyone. You'll never run out of bananas for our youth. Everyone will get a slave, and will be someone's slave, and yet slavery will dissapear. 

The group is real however, and have apparently been around since 1998. I suppose they're just having some fun, here. And I can't wait for FEMEN's response.

Tide: for the whitest people in the world

I don't get it. Not one of them (via Ads of The World) means a damn thing to me. The headline is "Wherever you lose whiteness, Tide gets it back". And apparently Polish soccer kids are so white, their asses leave chalk marks wherever they sit, stand or lean.

Okay.