Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Okay, so this is awkward...

I just happened upon the "How Hetero?" application by Stockholm Pride.

It asks you to submit your Twitter name, select your gender, then it calculates how heterosexual you are, — based on your tweets.

So of course I entered my handle, @CreativeTweets...

69% HeteroCreativeTweets is 69% Hetero

Being happily married to a woman, I was a little alarmed to see that my online self was almost a third gay. Is it my advocacy of equal marriage? My support for anti-hate campaigns? Or maybe it was that time I RTed Lady Gaga while drunk...

Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I thought I'd try a few celebrities to calibrate this f*cker.

69% HeteroFINALLEVEL is 69% Hetero

Okay, so Ice T and I are equally straight, and equally on the downlow.

62% HeteroPerezHilton is 62% Hetero

Perez Hilton is only slightly less gay than me? WTF? Let me check @Queerty...

1% HeteroQueerty is 1% Hetero

Now I suspect maybe Perez is the one with issues.

For one last check, I entered the feed of sticky ladmag @FHM_Australia:

72% HeteroFHM_Australia is 72% Hetero

Well, okay then. I guess I'll be staying with my team.


  1. 70% - Detected words: "bitch, coming out, bent, shopping, cheeks"

  2. Wow. 58%. That's kind of surprising, but then again, not really, since I imagine they're probably getting orientation mixed in with gender performance.

    So not so much "How hetero are you?" but more like "How hetero do you present yourself?"

  3. '87% hetero: found words "gay", "milk", "pink", "shop", "bike".'

    Um ... ok. Are those words supposed to account for the 13% or the 87%?

  4. For fun, I tried analyzing my work twitter feed and got 78%

  5. 72%. I dunno - sounds kinda high to me, based on the number of Douglas Sirk films I've seen (and loved).

  6. Forgot to do this when I first saw the post, iPhone doesn't play nice with the site (of course)

    66% hetero: Found words "available", "nhl", "bum", "baby formula", and "sugar"