Here's the body copy. Seriously:
"The problem with invisibility is that cloak fashions fade rapidly and past-season trends don't capture anyone's eyes for resale. Manage your appearance in a more sustainable way with today's Groupon to Luxe Spa. Choose from three options:
• For $20, you get a women's haircut, wash, and blow-dry (a $40 value).
• For $20, you get a Brazilian wax (a $45 value).
• For $30, you get a women's haircut, wash, and blow-dry, plus a Brazilian wax (an $85 value).
A modern, full-service spa, Luxe Spa plunges bodies into beautifying bliss beneath the hands of skilled stylists and aestheticians. The women's haircut, wash, and blow-dry lops and sculpts locks for a fresh look made to inspire the next generation of fairy-tale writers. By request, Luxe will douse head threads in completely organic shampoos and styling products from the Simply Organic line. Alternatively, freshly snipped scalps with plans to hit the beach can descruff bikini zones with a Brazilian wax. As souls simmer in an environment tailored to one's personal preferences, an expert aesthetician removes any trace of hair, giving waxing areas legitimate reason to challenge silk to a smooth-off."
I challenge thee to a smooth off, thou scruffian!