Monday, March 3, 2014

Sleep apnea product company "brings the sexy back"

It's either that, or a weird new fetish.

Since when has CPAP [Continuous Positive Airway Pressure] been perceived as not sexy?  Sleep apnea is what is not sexy.   Sleep apnea is a serious sleep disorder that can have damaging effects such as pregnancy complications, glaucoma, and motor vehicle accidents due to improper sleep. Well, as Justin Timberlake says, “It’s time to bring Sexy Back.”  What is sexy is something that combats sleep apnea…  Meet the CPAP.  The CPAP is the heavyweight champ in fighting sleep apnea and if you don’t think that’s sexy enough, CPAP therapy has also proven to make you appear more physically attractive and – gentlemen – CPAP therapy will improve erectile dysfunction.  How is that for sex appeal?!  Without further ado, here are the top 10 sexiest CPAP wearing people.
What follows is a series of poorly-photoshopped stock photos of "sexy" men and women wearing CPAP apparatus, along with every sexist cliché in the book.

 The Ultimate Surfer Chick…  Crushing Waves and Hearts! 
Surfs up, dudes! Here we have what’s known to all guys as a “major babe”.  She doesn’t care about what she eats, how much she drinks, or what her reputation is.  She’s a surfer chick without a care in the world.  Drink all day, party all night and be up early in the morning hangin’ ten on some choice waves in the ‘Bu.  She aspires to be a pro surfer and travel the globe but if she doesn’t go pro she’ll settle for modeling in Pac Sun catalogs.  Free clothes!  Cowabunga!  If this aqua-marine gem sleeps at all she probably wears the Ultra Mirage Full Face Mask because she wants that optimal seal so she can be tubular on the waves on the flip side.
It's so dumb that it actually fooled Photoshop Disasters. I guess they failed to actually read this stuff:

The Couple that Wear CPAPs Together (on the beach) Stay Together 
What a fun day these two are having on the beach! Nothing but sunshine and smiles surround these two beautiful people. Looking at this picture, you can just feel the abundant love and affection these two share for each other. There’s nothing anyone could do to distract these two lovebirds from enjoying the beautiful day. After they have a picnic and watch the sun set over the ocean, they’ll walk home holding hands only to slip on their Quattro FX and Quattro FX for Her, Mask Systems later that night. Have you ever experienced the sensation of a mutual Quattro FX goodnight kiss?  Neither have I, but I bet it’s nothing short of true bliss…
Really weird stuff. But at least it's not a snore. Read the rest here.

1 comment:

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