New app lets you surgically birth "Frozen" Anna's baby

Remember that bizarre "Plastic Surgery Barbie" App that came out last year? Well, here's another opportunity for girls to learn about the magical worlds of surgery and copyright violation.

Buzzfeed's Daniel Kibblesmith talks readers through the game, which shows Frozen's 18-year-old  Princess Anna ready to give birth to Kristoff's baby (after they get married, of course!)

The app guides the user through a sanitized Caesarian birth, apparently not clarifying whether Anna is suffering from a complication that prevents vaginal delivery, or whether she's just "too posh to push." (It also implies that a woman is put under a general anaesthetic for the procedure, which is not typical.)

I'll leave the WTFing to Jezebel's Rebecca Rose:

Sure, maybe games or apps that talk about pregnancy can be a good teaching tool for parents who want to get their kids familiar with various aspects of childbirth. But unless you are a being on the planet Mikloap Alpha 7, there is no purple glowing orb that magically emerges from your womb because someone waves a special sparkle wand over it. No. Despite what they are trying to teach in Texas high school's sex education classes, this is not what happens during childbirth. 

After the baby is born, you have to use the scalpel to cut the umbilical cord (SO MUCH GODDAMN NOPE HERE) and weigh the baby.

Not exactly a welcome addition to the world of childbirth apps.

"Vaginal" advertising doesn't get much sleazier than this

More than 20 years ago, before I got my first agency job, I recall having a decidedly non-sober discussion with my friends about sex in advertising: "If things keep getting more explicit," I joked, "some day you'll see an ad that just shows a beer coming out of a great big [crude euphemism for a vulva]."

Guess what? It's (sort of) finally happened:

Okay, it's a bar logo rather than an actual beer. But it's just as wrong.

This new low is brought to you by an Australian bar called Mordialloc Supper Club. The obvious plan to get free exposure through bad PR worked without even having to buy any media, as the Victorian Commission for Gambling and Liquor Regulation used its licencing authority to ban the image from Mordialloc's web site and Facebook page.

The VCGLR's ruling states, "the promotion is not in the public interest as it objectifies the female body and the commission considers it is likely to offend the ordinary reasonable person" and threatened the bar with a $17,323.20 fine if it didn't remove the image from its digital assets. (It's still archived on their blog, however.)

Yeah, I know. I'm compounding the problem. But I'd rather call out what I see as the worst offences of my industry than just let them fester. This one isn't just conceptually and executionally lazy, it's also pretty offensive to women and the whole idea of childbirth.

Typography and the power of "()"

Via Buzzfeed

The teaser poster for Lars Von Trier's upcoming film, Nymphomaniac, uses a rather clever minimalism to symbolize female creativity with nothing but parentheses.

There was something very familiar about it, but it didn't hit me until I was clearing out some of our old books in the basement:

Interesting how the same symbol can cover the two sides of female sexuality, from the intimate biology of sex to the occasional biological result.

Groupon celebrates "the man who gave birth to you" #FdAdFriday

(Buzzfeed)

I'm really glad that Groupon's digital designers know how to cut and paste. I just wish they'd proofread the damn things.

Either that, or they are appealing to a very narrow market of FtM transgender dads. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

The stupid Skittles spoof ad sequel you don't need to see #FdAdFridays

Wait.. didn't he pull out?

Last year's hideously pornographic Skittles Ad Spoof was outrageous enough to get Cousins noticed as a production team. But was this boring sequel really needed?


Reese's Pieces "Love Child" Extended Cut - Dir. Cousins from Cousins on Vimeo.


Meh.

Via AdFreak