This Disney Princess vibrator isn't just a violation of copyright

As if Disney Princesses weren't already problematic enough, childhood fantasies are sexualized in the name of irony.

From The Daily Dot:

The girly, delicate “Love Discovery Mini Vibrator” looks like your standard $68 sex toy, except that it’s being marketed as the clitoral stimulator of choice of Disney Princesses Ariel and Jasmine, with the caption “Yas gurl all princesses do it.” Nothing says “you should buy this sex toy!” like an endorsement from a mermaid.

Not funny, shopjeen. I doubt Disney's lawyers will be amused either.

Disney: Girls need heroes, boys need to be them

What is it with kids' t-shirts?

This time, Disney is in trouble with the internet over some licensed Avengers shirts for children:

The Disney Store is selling Avengers t-shirts for women with the slogan "I Need a Hero" and "I Only Kiss Heroes," and an Iron Man t-shirt for boys that reads "Be a Hero." This sends a harmful message about who can and cannot be a leader in this world. These shirts promote the idea that men and boys are meant to do the saving, and that women and girls are the ones who need to be saved.

This is from a Change.org petition by MissRepresentation.org. They are, quite understandably, pissed off at the primitive sexism.

Ironically, Marvel comics has a long history of including (at least token) strong women superheroes in the original comic series. Even the movie includes Black Widow.

The shirt for girls only shows male characters as "heroes" and there doesn't seem to be a hero version for girls.

Sales soar for bullet-proof Disney princess backbacks

Via Boing Boing

According to the Daily Mail:

Firms selling bullet-proof children's gear - including Disney Princess and Avengers backpacks lined with Kevlar-type sheeting - are reporting a massive surge in sales in the wake of the Sandy Hook massacre. 

Salt Lake City-based Amendment II is among several firms being accused of callously cashing-in on the tragedy in which 26 people were gunned down including 23 children.  

The firm is currently promoting a range of $300 bulletproof backpacks, alongside body armour in children's sizes, and say they have sold as many in a week as they usually sell in three months

Last Friday's mass-killing was devastating to parents everywhere. But the idea that you can somehow armour (or even arm) your children against a similar attack is preposterous. And deeply, deeply sad.

Selling this stuff, on the other hand, is appalling.

At the moment, the site of the online retailer, "Amendment II" is unresponsive.

The Disney-Barney's cross-promo is a real nightmare

Barney's New York has partnered with Disney to create "Electric Holiday," a campaign that combines the fantasy of Disneyland with the fantasy of being unnaturally thin and wearing designer clothes.



It's rather long and pretentious, but the climax comes when Tinkerbell uses her magic to transform your dumpy old Disney favourites into  long, lean and chic supermodels at a Paris fashion show.

GIF via Buzzfeed

The cartoon is not really made for kids, but anything with the kid-friendly Disney characters is bound to get in their hands. And what will be the message to them? That Barney's has the high-end fashions you need to live your own piece of the fashion world?

No, that's just the intended message. To adults. Kids, instead, will see that Minnie, Snow White, and all their friends are not happy with their childlike bodies. If they had their way, they would be transformed into perpetually bored, preternaturally thin, highly sexualized things.

If you follow fashion, there are a bunch of caricatures of some fashionable figures. Whatever. This campaign is not helping me think any better of these people. And it might even give me nightmares.

This Disney Princess knockoff is accidentally brilliant

Via BuzzFeed

That's right — those characters, in general, teach girls to be bland: dependent on men to define themselves, lacking agency, and generally vacuous.

I wonder if the people who named this toy were trying to say "white girl".

See also:

Via Cookdandbombd

Barbie... she's so benign.

Your daily dose of fat-shaming design nerd humour

I've done my fair share of Ariel abuse online. But this one seems like a rather nasty bit of fat bashing.

Next up: Look for "Ariel Italic" with a plate of pasta and Sophia Loren boobs. A waifishly thin "Ariel Narrow". And I don't even want to know how the pasty young imagination of the viral internet will render "Ariel Black" — although I am not optimistic.

Tip via Brands of The World

Update (June 28):

Mario moustache! I shoulda known...

Who needs Princes?

This image was recently shared on Facebook by A Girl's Guide To Taking Over The World.

Since my lesbian friends on FB gave it the "thumbs up" I figured I could share it here and have it taken in the appropriate "Some chicks marry chicks. Get over it." context.

I think my gal-lovin' gal friends liked it because the body language shows real passion and affection, not just "making out".

I'm not sure Disney will be as pleased.

Snow White and the Seven Unwanted Pregnancies

What a strange ad, by Portugal's Fuel agency for Ajuda de Mae ("Help for Mothers'). Although it would seem that it is supposed to be a warning against unwanted pregnancy, the organization itself is an anti-abortion one, with a mission "to support Mother of pregnant women, respect for the life of unborn baby, so that with this support, each parent can improve the lives of their families."

They do, however, seem to support family planning as an educational organization. But considering their overall message of creating healthy families, the negative example of seven little people  making life miserable for Snow White seems rather negative.

See more here

Plus, the ad is shamefully similar to Vancouver photographer Dina Goldstein's portrayal of Snow White in her excellent "Fallen Princesses" series. Ripoff? Hmmm...

Via Ads of The World

Creatives write the best passive-aggressive fake memos

In this case, it's a Disney animator who objected to the renaming of the 80's less-than-epic cartoon "The Great Mouse Detective" from its more evocative working title "Basil of Baker Street".

I can just imagine the executive decision coming down:

"'Basil of Baker Street'? Nobody is going to care about that! What about 'The Mouse Detective?'"

"Not epic enough. This is Disney. We make timeless animated classics."

"Okay then... 'The Great Mouse Detective'!"

"Brilliant! Inform the scribblers."

Click to enlarge.

Here's the full backstory, via Letters of Note:

When, in early-1986, Disney executives decided to change the title of their upcoming animated feature from 'Basil of Baker Street' to the less ambiguous 'The Great Mouse Detective', its production team were less than pleased. One animator in particular, Ed Gombert, harnessed his displeasure to comical effect by creating, and circulating, the following: a fake memo purportedly from then-head of department, Peter Schneider, in which he announced the retroactive renaming of Disney's entire back catalogue, bar The Aristocats, in a similarly bland style.

It was a hit, and in fact such was its popularity that the memo soon reached a very unimpressed Jeff Katzenberg, then-CEO of Disney, who, after questioning an entirely innocent Schneider, tried and failed to uncover the identity of the memo's creator. To make matters worse, a copy then found its way to the LA Times.

To Disney's dismay the movie's name was suddenly on everyone's lips, albeit for the wrong reasons.

F'd Ad Fridays: Vintage Mickey Mouse milk innuendo

Via Buzzfeed

Disney's The Little Mermaid's sexual coming-of-age story, as told by her hipster meme

The Little Mermaid is my favourite Disney movie. No, I am not a dirty old man. I was 18 years old when I went to see the film in the cinema with a 16-year-old female friend. We arrived at the show pretty intoxicated, and proceeded to laugh ourselves silly over all the overt sexual references in the movie. (Yeah, we were smarty pants teens.)

The movie has already been hilariously deconstructed as really bad advice for girls about how to get a guy by completely compromising yourself.

But back in the '80s, I saw more than that. As a teenage boy, dealing with teenage girls as both close friends and occasionally romantic interests, I was fascinated by how the movie seemed to capture the physical and emotional turmoil I saw among female peers as they went along the rocky road to maturity, from age 15 to about 25.

I was reminded of all this when the Hipster Little Mermaid meme started making the rounds of social media. You can generate your own captions on Meme Generator. But instead of making her talk about mainstream culture and Pitchfork magazine, I thought the older, wiser, and bespectacled Princess could walk you through Disney's most awkwardly sexualized classic.

Yeah.

 Little Mermaid lyrics.

 She really does.

Link to the "humanizing" sequence.

I actually sympathize with the guy. I was that clueless as a teen.

 Really. Those Disney animators were pretty pervy.

 In Polish, but you get the gist.

For some unknown reason, my favourite urban legends debunking site, Snopes, insists that the penis tower illustration is unintentional. I have a copy of the original VHS release. Towers are usually less veiny than that...

It's the middle one. Click to enlarge. (No pun intended.)

Never trust a princess...

Second City Network has just released the latest in their series, "Advice For Young Girls From a Cartoon Princess". This time, Snow White (played by comedian Danielle Uhlarik) gives the skinny on her platonic relationship with seven strange men, housework, wildlife, trusting old ladies and hooking up with princes:



To be fair, Disney's Snow White came out in 1937 and was based on old European fairy tales. But for 21st Century girls who experience her story on DVD or Blu Ray, the historical context is lost.

"You know you've made it as the prettiest person
when everyone around you wants to kill you..."

The first two in the series tackled more recent iterations of princesses, Ariel and Belle:





Hilarious and sad.