Barbie's on the cover of the SI Swimsuit Issue - but will anyone notice?

Via Business Insider

Okay, she has a bigger head and a smaller bust than Kate Upton. But the plastic skin tone is bang on.

Adweek's Emma Bazilian writes,

Along with the editorial spread, Mattel and SI are also collaborating on an advertorial component around Barbie’s new “#unapologetic” campaign, which celebrates Barbie’s (sometimes divisive) role in society. “As with Barbie, every year the Swimsuit edition sparks conversations about women and body image, and Sports Illustrated stands unapologetically behind this issue that women, in reality, love,” a Mattel spokesperson told Adweek. “Unapologetic is a rally cry to embrace who you are and to never have to apologize for it.” A billboard teasing the campaign (and Barbie's involvement in the Swimsuit Issue) made its debut in Times Square earlier this month.

#unapologetic is an interesting move for Mattel, who redesigned the iconic doll in 1997 to have more "realistic" proportions, and in 2012 had her "run for President." It seems they have decided to embrace the controversies about Barbie and body image. 

Don't forget, girls: Anything is possible! (Adweek)

In this case, the convergence of little girls' playthings and adult male desire is super creepy. When you read copy like "a playful, behind-the-scenes video series... shows fans what it takes to be a Sports Illustrated legend — like Barbie!" who exactly are they talking to? Who is supposed to buy these cross-promotional dolls? 

If this plays out the way I think it's going to, I'm pretty sure some apologies will be in order.

Related posts:

One of the better "realistic" Barbie dolls I've seen

Barbie joins the RCMP, goes ginger, in Mountie/Mattel cross-promo

My favourite Barbie photo in the history of ever

Barbie joins the RCMP, goes ginger, in Mountie/Mattel cross-promo

Via The Mountie Shop

Cue the "she always gets her man" jokes. (Oh wait, the Globe and Mail already did that.)

The red-haired northern Barbie was briefly available directly from the RCMP's official e-commerce site before being completely bought out by what I can't help but visualize as hundreds of Mr. Smithers clones.

Via Tumblr

Here's the product description:

The Dolls of the World® Barbie® collection celebrates travels with Barbie® dressed in the ancestral clothing of her country. This Barbie® Doll of the World hails from the land of the maple leaf, maple syrup and the maple donut: Canada! Part of the Pink Label collection, RCMP Barbie® is dressed in the uniform currently worn by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, or Mounties, as they are widely known. Her scarlet tunic is accented with the cross strap and belt, navy and yellow breeches and tall Strathcona boots while her Stetson can be removed to reveal her bright red hair. RCMP Barbie® comes in keepsake travel trunk packaging and includes a “pink passport” for the perfect way for Barbie® to travel across Canada, and the world, in style!

I'm not sure the fitted tunic is regulation. (Her waist sure isn't!) And the loose hair wouldn't pass inspection. Plus, the pants aren't exactly that figure-hugging:

Via 

As one of Canada's most recognizable brands, the RCMP dress uniform lends itself to all sorts of cross-promotions, from collectible coins to Cookie Monster dolls.

The National Post reports that the RCMP's licensing fee from Mattel will go toward at-risk youth programs.

LEGO suffers another PR setback over street harassment sticker

Oh, LEGO... You used to be so cool. You sometimes still are. But too often now,  you're just so far behind the times it's sad.

This puffy sticker set was, according to AdFreak's David Gianatasio, released in 2010 by defunct licensee Creative Imagination. So they had a convenient player to throw under the bus.

But they still screwed it up. At first.

The whole PR nightmare began a little over a week ago when journalist and press freedom organizer Josh Stearns posted a photo of it on his Tumblr bog, Talking To Strangers:

I was stunned. Maybe it’s the fact that I just saw the team at Hollaback speak this month, or maybe it is that this is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, or maybe it is just that street harassment sucks. But chances are it was all three of these things that made me so mad to see a brand I love pushing this sort of thing. 

The Hollaback website notes that street harassment is the most prevalent form of sexual violence for both men and women in the United States. Internationally, they point out, “studies show that between 70-99% of women experience street harassment at some point during their lives.”

The issue was picked up by Slate and championed by the group Stop Street Harassment. That got LEGO's attention.

First, Charlotte Simonsen, Senior Director at LEGO’s corporate communications office, told Josh “To communicate the LEGO experience to children we typically use humor and we are sorry that you were unhappy with the way a minifigure was portrayed here.”

That's what we in the communication industry refer to as a "non-apology". So Josh wrote back and got the following reply from Andrea Ryder, the head of the LEGO Group’s Outbound Licensing Department, who said she was "truly sorry" that Josh "had a negative experience" with a LEGO product. She refered him to LEGO's brand values, including the line "Caring is about the desire to make a positive difference in the lives of children, for our partners, colleagues and the world we find ourselves in, and considering their perspective in everything we do." And she concluded, "we would not approve such a product again."

This is progress in brand responsibility, but it does not happen unless people are willing to speak up about the little things that reveal big problems in our society.


Laura Northrup from Consumerist wrote, "Street harassment isn’t the most pressing issue facing women today, but it can be a problem, and certainly isn’t appropriate for a children’s product."

I beg to differ on how serious this "one little picture" really is.

Just recently, I was having a conversation with someone from Hollaback about street harassment and rape culture. When you look at the big picture, the normalization of sexual harassment through bystander apathy is just one end of a continuum that ends with the dehumanization of women as targets of sexual violence.

Nothing says "I Love You" like a comically oversized teddy bear for #valentinesday

The bear, not the relationship.

Miss Representation shared this frighteningly bad infomercial by Vermont Teddy Bear. In it, men are exhorted to forgo chocolates and roses, and buy the wife/girlfriend/mistress what she really wants: an oversized teddy bear to cuddle when you're not around.


The gift itself is rather infantile. But the infomercial is really bad, attempting to position the bear as some kind of sexy gift.

If you want to underscore the sexiness of giving plush for Valentine's Day, you can also opt for "Teddy With a Teddy". Or, for your best chance of getting laid (or scaring her far, far away) shell out $29,999 for their "giant bear with a 5.90 carat diamond ring". Just make it clear that you're the one proposing...

1882 mechanical toy catalogue is an embarrassing look at old stereotypes

This 1882 catalogue for The Automatic Toy Works of New York was just posted on Retronaut. I'll let these excerpts speak for themselves. Then, let us never speak of them again.

See the rest here.

Artist makes statement about "babies having babies" with pregnant baby doll

From Darren Cullen, the mind behind "Topless Mayan Advent Calendar" and "The Meat Planet" comes..

From Dangerous Minds:

Baby’s First Baby toy doll by artist Darren Cullen is—I’m assuming here—some kind of statement about glamorizing teen pregnancies on shows like MTV’s 16 and Pregnant. 

If you notice, even the fetus is pregnant! 

Of course, America should gut funding for Planned Parenthood…

Yeah, that is weird. But I like it when stuff makes me think about stuff.

This Disney Princess knockoff is accidentally brilliant

Via BuzzFeed

That's right — those characters, in general, teach girls to be bland: dependent on men to define themselves, lacking agency, and generally vacuous.

I wonder if the people who named this toy were trying to say "white girl".

See also:

Via Cookdandbombd

Barbie... she's so benign.

No girls allowed in LEGO Middle Earth

There has been quite a lot of talk lately about how LEGO went from a gender-neutral building toy to a series of highly-gendered play sets for boys and girls.

Well, Casey recently alerted me to the latest in the "boy" play sets: LEGO Lord of The Rings.

Clearly based on the movies, rather than the books, it features a number of scanarios from Galdalf's arrival in Hobbiton to Sauron's subterranean orc factory.

What it doesn't feature is any female characters. No Arwen, no Galadriel, no Éowyn. Not even female Hobbits. The only female in the entire set, apparently, is Shelob the horrible giant spider.

The sets focus on battle and brutality, but the complete lack of female characters is striking. In the Peter Jackson movie franchise, some effort was made to give some appeal to female viewers, apart from all Tolkien's old-school unattainable princessy characters, by making the character of Éowyn more prominent as a warrior. But even the crusty old author, with his medieval worldview, gave the "shield-maiden" a front-line role in killing the Witch-King. Why miss the opportunity for at least a token kick-ass woman?

This just goes to show how increasingly ut-of-touch the LEGO designers are getting. They may claim to be appealing to boys' demands for gross and violent battle toys. But even my vintage Star Wars action figures had a kickass Leia. Not the gold bikini one, the "Someone has to save our skins!" bun-headed Rebel spy from the original film. (You know, the one LEGO put into its classic Star Wars collection?"

LEGO is entirely within its rights to tell girls to forget about fantasy and adventure and get back to the kitchen, I suppose. But I also get to call them on it.

Inappropriate chain gang teddy bear is inappropriate

Yesterday, my wife and I were taking our son to his swimming lesson at the City of Ottawa's St. Laurent Complex when my better half spotted something rather weird.

Can you spot it? Here's a closer look:

Her first comment was "is that a monkey in a Department of Corrections orange jumpsuit?" but closer inspection proved it to be a bear. A brown bear in a Department of Corrections orange jumpsuit with a chain around his ankle.

The Amazing Spider-Pram: Redefining gendered toys

(Image via Fru K blog)

This image, from the recent toy catalogue of Swedish retailer Leklust, is getting a lot of play on social media right now for its image of a kid in a Spider-Man costume pushing a pink doll carriage.

As reported in The Local, Leklust CEO Kaj Wiberg told Metro, "Gender roles are an outdated thing... I'm 71 years old, and those of us who have worked in this industry for a while know that boys play with doll houses. We know that boys can play with Barbie dolls."

The catalogue has other non-stereotypical images as well:

Nice to see. I'd love to see more of it.

F'd Ad Fridays: My House Fungus

My friend Rachel shared this one:

Unless you're a Smurf, "fungus" is something you usually want to keep out of your home. Even if "it can bring you the endless fun".

Toys for tots, tits, tatts

With Christmas within arm's reach, all kinds of marketers are trying to get a piece of the spirit. It sometimes leads to odd couplings.

Chicago's Admiral Theater, which despite the classy name is actually a strip club, is offering to exchange one free lap dance for a donation of a toy for charity.

Aren't all lap dances for the "needy"?

In Memphis, Tattoo artist Jay Guzman is offering free tatts for a toy donation to his favourite Christian cause.

Huffington Post says that when customers bring in a toy worth $25 or more, Monday through Wednesday, they can get a tattoo or piercing of comparable price in exchange. Guzman said in an interview, "Everybody associates tattoo artists with being criminals, bikers, degenerates — and I'm a believing Christian and I believe what better way to be Christ-like than by giving back."

It's a good point. Strip clubs, tattoo parlours... if Jesus the man were here right now, that's exactly where he would do his ministry: among the very people his more hypocritical followers despise.

Talking dolls have some choice words for Christmas shoppers

The ridiculously overpriced "You & Me Interactive Triplet Dolls" set, sold at Toys R Us this Christmas season, created by LearnRight Toys, have something to say to American shoppers who are a little too obsessed with the mad rush for deals this "Black Friday":



Listen to the baby. Stop the craziness.

Via The Stir

F'd Ad Fridays: What a shitty Xmas gift

Jezebel says this is the "it toy" the the UK this Christmas. I think they left out a couple of consonants.

Barbie? Is that you?

This collector's edition doll is designed by Japanese-inspired Italian "lifestyle brand" Tokidoki, and is available for $50 at their online store.

The pitch:

"Tokidoki® Barbie® doll is always ready for cutting-edge fashion! This funky fashionista features trendy tattoos and a pink bob. With cactus friend, Bastardino, by her side, she’s ready for fun in fashion-forward form!"

Pink hair? Tattoos? "Bastardino"?

This isn't your grandmother's feminine ideal.

F'd Ad Fridays: The Googlher pings you in the...

This one is pretty naughty, so you'll want to watch with discretion. There are loud moans.



Apparently, it is based on Google Alarm, an application that alerts you every time Google interacts with (pings) your computer as part of its updates and data mining.

F.A.T. explains:

The Googlher is a device which plugs into your computer and triggers a bullet vibrator any time that Google pings your web browser (with the aid of The Googlher Firefox Add-on). By doing so, The Googlher translates Google’s pervasive reach into highly stimulating vibrations for vaginal or anal web browsing. Mistrust and fear Google’s omnipotent ways no longer as the web giant profoundly soothes, touches, and moves you. This is perhaps the biggest thing to happen to augmented reality since the invention of methamphetamine.

What an interesting way to remind people that Google is getting intimate with their personal habits. And nerds will be pleased to know that it's open source.

F'd Ad Fridays: American stereotypes, cast in polyresin for your enjoyment

I was doing my usual rounds for content, and decided to see if I could find any tacky Jesus Christ toys on Amazon. (There were many.)

And then I stumbled upon this:

Jesus is part of the "American Diorama" series of die cast metal miniatures. You can also buy his girlfriend Erika, complete with acid wash jeans and slutty top:

Am I reading too much into the choice of a Latino name for this guy?

BTW, he also has a twin brother, Jose, who for some reason costs $2 more.

Ah, wait... here's the problem. They screwed up the product shot. According to the manufacturer's site, Jesus is actually this car thief:

His half-dressed girlfriend is Monica.

And he likes to steal police cars.

Man, Sheriff Dave is going to be pissed.

Once he finishes writing up these very strange looking rednecks for open liquor at their tailgate party.

And runs the Hell's Angels out of town...

And don't even ask what he's going to do to Sailor Moon (...?)

Ah, America...

Check out Monica's Arschgeweih...

F'd Ad Fridays: Universal Serial Dildo

WARNING:  The embedded video contains images of phallic sex toys.



Finally — a vibrator that you plug into your laptop. (Oh, wait...)

Here's the pitch from their crowdfunding page at CKIE:

"We began with a shared vision: creating high quality, elegant vibrators for women. Because when it comes to the products currently on the market, even some of the better ones are over-the-top—the kind of thing you hide under your bed, feeling like a teenager with a dirty magazine. Instead, we imagined toys so beautiful and discreet that they could live in your purse or your vanity. We envisioned elegant, discreet, and sensual products—ones that invite you to touch and experience instead of hiding them away. Because if anything deserves good design, it's the things we bring to bed with us.

In that spirit, we launched Crave, a team comprised of industrial designer Ti Chang and entrepreneur Michael Topolovac. Combining Ti’s design ability, Michael’s engineering background, and the personal experiences of the many women we interviewed, we emerged with our first product, the Duet: a discreet, USB rechargeable vibrator."

Tip via Buzzfeed

The only thing I hate about this campaign...

Is that I wish I had done it. For 15 years, I've been pitching Gen-X friendly, ironic, '70s and '80s childhood nostalgia campaigns to clients. Nada.

But now Lego has done it, and done it well:

Okay, so the compact florescent lightbulb is working a bit too hard. But just look at the parents!

And, of course, the strategy is bang-on for today's parents, who see their kids as projections of themselves (and perhaps of some of their own wasted potential). In a time when you can get all kids of expensive, annoying and rapidly obsolescent high-tech "educational systems", I see a real desire to return to the most basic of learning toys: Building blocks, Tinker Toys, Play-Doh, Meccano/Erector Sets — and of course Lego!

The idea that these types of toys are capable of unlocking a child's imagination and individuality has already been exploited by Lego, and exploited well, by a great Russian campaign I blogged about in 2010.

This one is from a German agency, serviceplan, via Ads of The World.

PS: Meccano! Call me!

Lego my Imagination!

Ever since the late '70s, I've been kind of a crotchety old man when it comes to Lego. That was when the iconic building blocks went from focussing on generic pieces to what can only be described as glueless modelling kits.

Okay, so a Lego AT-AT is really freaking cool, but where's the imagination in that? And how impressed would you be if your kid was able to design one using only those old primary coloured blocks?

But these fancy model kits aren't necessarily the end of imagination — just a lazy way out. Really creative kids ignore the instructions and make whatever their fantasies demand.

And that's why I love... no, LOVE! this campaign I just saw in I Believe in Advertising:

[click pics for larger versions]

Thank you, Leo Burnett Moscow. That's a truly refreshing and inspirational campaign for a parent like me!