Most unsexy condom ad ever?

We're seen some great condom ads lately. This is not one of them.

Created by Ogilvy & Mather, Japan, for e-tailer Condomania, this campaign features shrink-wrapped naked couples in very awkward-looking embraces:

Perhaps the humour is just foreign to me. But they look like dead, packaged meat. Ewww.

Via Ads Of The World

Terrifying demon child defends Christmas

 St. Mary's Church, a Catholic congregation in New Jersey, recently released this bizarre and confusing PSA about the "War on Christmas":



It was actually aired on Fox News and MSNBC. Its equally confusing YouTube description states, "Happiness can be expressed through a smile or a religion. Will negative people try controlling the way we smile next?"

The narrator, Jim Flood, sounds a little like Leonard Nimoy. And the girl, whose name is kept secret (thankfully) sounds like a banshee from the darkest depths of superstition.

Here's two of their other contributions to the weird video literature of religious fundamentalism:

Can PETA's naked celebrity ads get any more ridiculous?

Via PETA Latino

The answer, quite clearly, is "yes".

I'm trying to figure out how someone thought this was sexy: "Oh yeah, the broccoli floret kind of looks like green shag carpet. We can have Patricia de Leon get all 'come hither' on it! Hawt!"

Not.

UPDATE: Tania pointed out that Ms. de Leon is also missing a leg.

Long-separated breasts reunited in French push-up bra ad

Everyone knows European ads show lots of bare breasts. But these are the weirdest ones I've seen in some time. Created by Marcel Paris and Publicis Espana for Valege Lingerie they show anthropomorphized boobs having a bunch of squishy reunions:







According to AdFreak, the ads were directed by "J.A.C.K." of Wanda Productions. They're certainly playful, but humanizing the "breast friends" creates all kinds of weirdness — especially with the nipple "squint" in the airport ad.

It's pretty harmless, and very French. Although as AdFreak's Tim Nudd points out, "It's not generally assumed that breasts enjoy being squashed together in a push-up bra."

Air conditioning ad promises to keep the psycho killers indoors

At first, this reminded me of our old elder abuse awareness campaign. (I also had to remind myself that it's summer in Argentina.) Then it got weird.



At least this thing is memorable. Even if I feel a little scarred now.


Ad by Del Campo Saatchi & Saatchi, Buenos Aires. Found on Illegal Advertising.

Human anatomy — in macaroon form

Foodbeast's Dominique Zamora shared these rather weird confections soon to be offered at Eat Your Heart Out, "Deliciously bad-taste cakes, for Adult Eyes Only."

Compared to the vag-eye-na and nippled cupcakes they feature, these organs are rather tame.

This outfit shows a little too much skin... (nudity)

Not the open front. Breasts are no big deal. I'm talking about the bizarre, inflatable tubes and pockets of synthetic human skin.

I am at a loss for rational words. Here is how Suzanne Labarre at Co.Design describes it:

You know how some people’s temples pulse wildly when they’re mad or spooked or nervous? That’s more or less the idea behind Like Living Organisms, by Dutch fashion designers Cor Baauw and Leonie Baauw of Local Androids. A futuristic neckpiece (or dress, depending on whether you think boob coverage is a requirement for the latter), it’s made of freakishly life-like fake skin and has “veins” that beat visibly in the company of other people, then deflate when touched as a “sign of trust,” the designers say.

It was created for the Technosensual show, "where fashion meets technology".

And nightmares.

Inappropriate chain gang teddy bear is inappropriate

Yesterday, my wife and I were taking our son to his swimming lesson at the City of Ottawa's St. Laurent Complex when my better half spotted something rather weird.

Can you spot it? Here's a closer look:

Her first comment was "is that a monkey in a Department of Corrections orange jumpsuit?" but closer inspection proved it to be a bear. A brown bear in a Department of Corrections orange jumpsuit with a chain around his ankle.

A very Lynchian music video by David Lynch

Oh, yes. It's weird. And of course it has nudity, violence and almost painful weirdness.



According to Lynch's own site,

"Recorded over several months at his own studio in Mulholland Drive with engineer Dean Hurley (who also contributes guitar and drums), "Crazy Clown Time" unveils a majestic, yet powerfully idiosyncratic vision of "modern blues" that could only be drawn from the mind of David Lynch. Filled with foreboding soundscapes, hypnotic rhythms and enigmatic lyrics, this is music that will resonate not only with fans of Lynch's films, but also to listeners who appreciate daring, experimental music."

I don't know what else to say. You can buy the album here.

Via Animal NY.

The sweetest little zombie you ever will see #fdadfriday

Illegal Advertising shared this weird European video:



This ad about an abandoned sugar cube man trying to get home is really cute, at first.

But then I totally thought he was going to get molested by that trucker.

Oh, phew! He's just enslaved so that he can be slowly consumed.

Hooray! He's home again!

Tomb sweet tomb?

Odd.

The most confusing thing I have seen all week

Fortunately, it's only Monday morning.

It's an ambient idea from CP+B Canada, for Tourism Toronto. But what is it?

According to the submission on Ads of The World:

"In order to curate the vacation photos Toronto visitors take and put online, we unleashed 21, 8-foot snowmen designed by top contemporary artists and placed strategically at key tourist spots in the city. When you take a photo with the snowmen, a famous Toronto scene is featured as the backdrop. And to encourage the photos would be shared, Tourism Toronto is donating $2 to Starlight Children’s Foundation for every snowman photo uploaded to the campaign’s Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/visittoronto, up to $50,000. And, we’ve integrated each photo takers’ network, by offering another $1 for every ‘Like’ each photo generates, further expanding this campaign’s reach. To date, more than $24,000 has been raised."

I would like to point out that this submission comes from a country in which English is frequently spoken. "In order to curate"? Okay, that's just shitty jargon. But the rest of the write-up is similarly convoluted.

They set up giant snowmen in popular Toronto tourism photo op sites, then provided a fundraising incentive to share them on Tourism Toronto's Facebook page and get their friends involved. Was that so hard to say?

I am amazed that such a famous agency brand would leave the adblog PR to someone who don't write good.

But the most confusing thing about it all is this:

Why does the snow"man" have a vulva?

Perfume pill lets women sweat (sorry, "perspire") designer scent

My agency colleague (and part-time fashion blogger) Amanda sent me this "ad" for Lucy McRae Swallowable Parfum:



The McRae blog says,

"Swallowable Parfum is a digestible scented capsule that emits a unique odor through your own perspiration. Excreted through the skin's surface the body becomes an atomizer; a biologically enhanced second skin synthesized directly from the natural processes of the body.
Swallowable Parfum is a provocative campaign developed alongside synthetic biologist Sheref Mansy initialised to open discussion with the cosmetic, pharmaceutical, fashion and technology industries."

So, is this a product or is it art?

McRae describes herself as:

"...an Australian artist straddling the worlds of fashion, technology and the body. As a body Architect she invents and builds structures on the skin that re-shape the human silhouette. Her provocative and often grotesquely beautiful imagery suggests a new breed; a future human archetype existing in an alternate world
Trained as a classical ballerina and architect her work inherently fascinates with the human body. The media call her inventor, friends call her a trailblazer. Either way, she relies on instinct to evolve an extraordinary visual path that is powerful, primal and uniquely Lucy McRae."

From the press release in the Swallowable Perfume site:

"Amid growing rhetoric around the body as the new frontier for technological advancement,
Swallowable parfum by internationally celebrated body architect Lucy McRae, is a digestible
scented capsule that breaks entirely new ground in the science of human instinct.
Once absorbed, the capsule enables the skin to become a platform, an atomizer; A biologically enhanced second skin synthesized directly from the natural processes of the body. Fragrance molecules are excreted through the skins surface during perspiration, leaving tiny droplets on the skin that emanate a unique odor. The potency of scent is determined by each individual’s acclimatization to temperature, stress, exercise, or sexual arousal. 

Swallowable Parfum is a capsule that enables human skin to emit a genetically unique scent
about who we are, and how we perform our identities. A provocative campaign initialised to open discussion with the cosmetic, pharmaceutical, fashion and technology industries, challenges the way we consume parfum in the future. After working for four years as a body architect at Philips Design in a far future research program exploring emotional sensing and part of a team who claims our bodies are a platform for technology, this cosmetic capsule is part of an on going exploration that re-defines the role of skin. 

Lucy McRae teams up with acclaimed synthetic biologist Sheref Mansy and are currently
in research phase to develop a capsule that consists of synthesied fragrant lipid molecules
that mimic the structure of normal fat molecules naturally found in the body. The human body has enzymes that metabolise fat in a series of steps that free lipids and lipid-like molecules from their scaffolds. Swallowable Parfum takes advantage of these natural enzymes found in our bodies to release fragrant molecules from larger structures. Subsequently, the liberated fragrant molecules are excreted through the skin’s surface during perspiration."

Again, product or art? I guess it's up to just what you're willing to swallow.

F'd Ad Fridays: Disembodied people parts as iPhone cases

Yesterday, AdFreak posted this severed hand iPhone case:

Then I followed links to find this asinine one:

Which reminded me of this one, which was posted on Buzzfeed last month:

Isn't it just "booty call" with butt pimples?

And then things just got weird...



Man... what is wrong with iPhone users? I just let mine go naked.

F'd Ad Fridays: Questionable World Breastfeeding Week tribute

Adland posted this find from That's Like, Whoa!

Not creepy at all.

What happened to the ones in the middle?

If anyone can trannslate, that would be awesome.

The accompanying text reads: "This Japanese room-temperature jello treat is not only formed to resemble a woman’s breasts, but is packaged in a way that removes all doubt. Those who’ve actually tried these breast puddings report that they’re somewhat milky, sweet tasting, and slightly slimy."

Milk jelly... lovely. Although I have a sneaky feeling that this is not being marketed to babies and toddlers.

Spoof kids' show expresses the dark side of creativity

Created by This Is It studio, the following bit of insanity starts out like a harmless (and painfully cheerful) kids' show, builds slowly, and eventually takes a left turn into the darkest depths of the creative mind.


Don't Hug Me I'm Scared from This Is It on Vimeo.

Perhaps it's a warning about the fine line between genius and madness. Or maybe the creators were doing some other sorts of "lines"...

I have no idea. But I'm scared now.

Via Animal NY

"Kid safe" porn ads are much more disturbing than actual pornography

The last think I want to do is have to explain these ads to my six-year-old son...

"Beaver" tee hee hee...

I guess this one's for the Japanese market.

WTF? Seriously.

I don't even want to know.

Via Ads of The World

Cardboard Will and Kate, on an Ottawa date

When I made fun of this year's Outaouais tourism campaign, I may have spoken too soon. Apparently the weirdness has spread to my side of the river, in Ottawa:



This video, shared by Nick Iannitti on the Adrants FB page, anticipates the visit to Ottawa by royal newlyweds William and Kate this week for Canada Day.

Fairly harmless, really, until you look at where it's hosted: on the Ottawa Tourism YouTube account.

Yep, it's an official (or at least officially sanctioned) tourism video. Will it offend the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, or perhaps the handful of old people in Canada who still view our Monarch's family with some sort of superhuman reverence?

Whatever. I like to see authorities break out a little bit. Besides which, the cutouts look like they had a much better time than the real Will & Kate can possibly have here.

Smurfette goes all haute

She's come a long way from her frumpy white dress and shapeless hipster toque.

No, it's not creepy fan art. To promote the new generation Smurf movie, she's doing high fashion editorial shoots at Harper's Bazaar:

Dolce & Gabbana bag, $995, hat, $425, earrings, $225, cuff, $225, and pumps, $575

Hey wait! She sill has the frumpy dress. But she rocks it.

Lanvin hat, $1,720, gloves, $790, cuff, $1,495, necklace, $1,485, and shoes, $1,345

Louis Vuitton hat, $1,230, bag, by special order, and boots, $940

Marc Jacobs beret, $685, gloves, $400, fur bag, $4,695, socks, and shoes, $895

Quite the metamorphosis for a tiny girl who grew up in a mushroom patch with 100 guys...

Thanks to Fashionista for the tip

Zombie Princess Di welcomes Kate to the Royal Family

BRAAAAAAAIIINS (and jaunty hats!)

Tina Brown, you are one weird person.

Tip via Jezebel

F'd Ad Fridays: Giant freaky baby goes to the park

Landon Meier is an artist who makes latex masks under the brand Hyperflesh. To promote his latest creepy baby head work, he convinced a grown man to don the mask and a diaper — and nothing else — and be taken for a walk in the park. Bizarrilarity ensures.



Try unseeing THAT!

Via BoingBoing