Toronto printer "quotes" Jian Ghomeshi on mailer

Jezebel 

Using, or parodying, a famous quote is one of the laziest creative tricks in the book. But Toronto's Corktown Printing Co. decided to take it in an extra-creepy direction by doing a word-for-word sendup of Jian Ghomeshi. 

The ex-CBC radio host was fired over accusations that he hit, choked, and otherwise abused women on dates going back years. 

When he was first fired, Ghomeshi wrote a Facebook rant outing himself as a BDSM enthusiast, and painting himself as a victim of corporate prudery. Part of it read:

Let me be the first to say that my tastes in the bedroom may not be palatable to some folks. They may be strange, enticing, weird, normal, or outright offensive to others. We all have our secret life. But that is my private life. That is my personal life. And no one, and certainly no employer, should have dominion over what people do consensually in their private life.

Here's the inside of the Mailer:

Jezebel 

Ghomeshi's attempt at rallying sympathy was quickly overtaken by an expose of his non-consensual abuse of women on dates and sexual harassment of colleagues. Since then, several women have come forward to media with creepily similar stories about his violence, including Trailer Park Boys actress (and RCAF Captain) Lucy DeCoutere and author Reva Seth.

Jezebel reports that a spokesperson for Corktown didn't see any problem with the mailer. "It's a little satire," she told them. "There's no intention for it to be offensive."

The mailer was created by Toronto's Agency Next Door, and has been featured on their Facebook Page for more than two weeks.

There was just an intention to make light of a high-profile case of violence against women. Nothing offensive in that, is there?

Unfamiliar with the concept of free speech, North Koreans demand UK take action against "Bad Hair Day" poster

Via National Post

Making fun of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un's distinctive tonsure has become one of the official sports of the internet, so it's no surprise that a hair salon got in on the action.

Neither super clever nor outrageous, the poster might have been a minor meme on Reddit for five seconds, then forgotten. Except that this salon is in London, and not too far from the North Korean embassy.

According to the Evening Standard, two men from the embassy paid a visit to the shop owner, Mo Nabbach, took pictures, and generally tried to threaten him:

He said they then came back and asked to speak to the manager before ordering him to take the poster down because it was “disrespectful” to their leader. 

“I told them this is England and not North Korea and told them to get their lawyers,” he added. 

“We did take it down but then some of our clients told me to put it back up because we have a democracy here.

“The two guys were wearing suits and they were very serious. It was very threatening.”

 Now, AP reports that North Korean diplomats have asked the British Foreign Office to take action against the salon, with "necessary action to stop the provocation." Police had already investigated the matter, and determined that no crime had occurred.

Sleep apnea product company "brings the sexy back"

It's either that, or a weird new fetish.

From easybreathe.com:

Since when has CPAP [Continuous Positive Airway Pressure] been perceived as not sexy?  Sleep apnea is what is not sexy.   Sleep apnea is a serious sleep disorder that can have damaging effects such as pregnancy complications, glaucoma, and motor vehicle accidents due to improper sleep. Well, as Justin Timberlake says, “It’s time to bring Sexy Back.”  What is sexy is something that combats sleep apnea…  Meet the CPAP.  The CPAP is the heavyweight champ in fighting sleep apnea and if you don’t think that’s sexy enough, CPAP therapy has also proven to make you appear more physically attractive and – gentlemen – CPAP therapy will improve erectile dysfunction.  How is that for sex appeal?!  Without further ado, here are the top 10 sexiest CPAP wearing people.

What follows is a series of poorly-photoshopped stock photos of "sexy" men and women wearing CPAP apparatus, along with every sexist cliché in the book.

 The Ultimate Surfer Chick…  Crushing Waves and Hearts! 

Surfs up, dudes! Here we have what’s known to all guys as a “major babe”.  She doesn’t care about what she eats, how much she drinks, or what her reputation is.  She’s a surfer chick without a care in the world.  Drink all day, party all night and be up early in the morning hangin’ ten on some choice waves in the ‘Bu.  She aspires to be a pro surfer and travel the globe but if she doesn’t go pro she’ll settle for modeling in Pac Sun catalogs.  Free clothes!  Cowabunga!  If this aqua-marine gem sleeps at all she probably wears the Ultra Mirage Full Face Mask because she wants that optimal seal so she can be tubular on the waves on the flip side.

It's so dumb that it actually fooled Photoshop Disasters. I guess they failed to actually read this stuff:

The Couple that Wear CPAPs Together (on the beach) Stay Together 

What a fun day these two are having on the beach! Nothing but sunshine and smiles surround these two beautiful people. Looking at this picture, you can just feel the abundant love and affection these two share for each other. There’s nothing anyone could do to distract these two lovebirds from enjoying the beautiful day. After they have a picnic and watch the sun set over the ocean, they’ll walk home holding hands only to slip on their Quattro FX and Quattro FX for Her, Mask Systems later that night. Have you ever experienced the sensation of a mutual Quattro FX goodnight kiss?  Neither have I, but I bet it’s nothing short of true bliss…

Really weird stuff. But at least it's not a snore. Read the rest here.

The War on Yule

Image via

My friends, some of our oldest traditions are under attack. The faith that sustained generations of our ancestors through the long, dark winter nights is falling victim to the forces of "political correctness" that say there is no place for religion in public. They won't be happy until the only answer to "is nothing sacred?" is YES!

Via

That's right, I'm taking about the War on Yule. I was just at my son's school "holiday concert" this week, and they seemed to take great pains to avoid talking about any of the things that make Yule cool: There was no mention of Yuletide, no gigantic burning log, and not even one song about throwing a virgin in the bog for Mōdraniht. What the Hellmouth?

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for other religions. I would fight to the death to defend the gods-given right of my Druidic neighbours to burn their enemies in giant wicker statues, or my Olympian friends to anoint themselves with olive oil, tie up their foreskins, and do a public workout in the nude. It's a free country!

But some people hate our freedom. Just this week, Pope Francis of the Roman Catholics referred to paganism as "not nice". That's antipaganism! 

His people are quite happy to appropriate the traditions of the great holiday of Yule from "not nice" people — the tree, the mistletoe, the fire — without really understanding the reason for the season: binge drinking,  animal sacrifice and decking the halls (and ourselves) with the still-warm blood of the slain:

It was ancient custom that when sacrifice was to be made, all farmers were to come to the heathen temple and bring along with them the food they needed while the feast lasted. At this feast all were to take part of the drinking of ale. Also all kinds of livestock were killed in connection with it, horses also; and all the blood from them was called hlaut, and hlautbolli, the vessel holding the blood; and hlautteinar, the sacrificial twigs. These were fashioned like sprinklers, and with them were to be smeared all over with blood the pedestals of the idols and also the walls of the temple within and without; and likewise the men present were to be sprinkled with blood. 

Doesn't that bring back wonderful Yuletide memories? I can almost smell it. But perhaps soon, our children won't know the visceral pleasure of the holiday slaughter. It's a bloody crime.

You know who's behind this, don't you? The Atheists. Just look at what they're trying to ram down our children's throats:

Via

Via

I'm not buying any of it. If I want to wish people a "Good Yule" on the sacred solstice, I'll keep doing so, godsdammit! If we let these unbelievers sanitize our holidays, what's next? Will they take the gods out of the days of the week? I grew up with Tīw's Day, Woden's Day, Thor's Day and Frigg's Day, and I'll be damned if secular humanists will destroy our most beloved and sacred traditions:

Good Yule, dear readers. And Merry Christmas. Stay warm, stay safe, and don't take yourselves too seriously.

K-Y and the sexual objectification of fat middle-aged men

I'm not going to complain too much about this one, because it made me chuckle with a bit of self-effacing irony. But let's watch and see what issues this lube campaign from DDB Toronto raises:



You see, it's funny because the "warming" lube is so effective, the chubby old slob is irresistible to his more put-together wife.



While I think mature men like me can take the hit on our egos, there is another angle to consider here. In an AdWeek post on "Hunkvertising," my social media friend David Gianatasio interviewed another blogger peer, Sociological Images' Lisa Wade, about what the trendy treatment of men as sex objects in advertising actually says about women.

Many ad experts and social critics see the whole thing as a harmless turning of the tables following decades of bikini-clad babes in beer commercials. Double entendres abound when dissecting the trend, the overriding feeling being that it can’t be taken all that seriously because, after all, we are just talking about guys here. “We’re all in on the gender-reversal joke,” explains Lisa Wade, associate professor of sociology at Occidental College. “It’s funny to us to think of women being lustful.”

When the lust is treated even more ironically, as with these men who are not exactly Isaiah Mustafa, both the woman's lust and the man's sexual desirability are the gag.

As Dr. Wade added in her post about the post she was interviewed for, "the joke affirms the gender order because the humor depends on us knowing that we don’t really objectify men this way and we don’t really believe that women are the way we imagine men to be."

And here, the men aren't either. It's good for a laugh, but over the long term is it good for men and women?

Another Cheerios spoof ad takes aim at racist trolls

Following my post of the "Eat It, Haters" video spoofing the "mixed-race" family Cheerios ad that got a surprising amount of racist feedback, I got a comment from Cotillion Girls Comedy with their version:



Which do you prefer?

Scottish soft drink parodies two competitors at once with "Fanny" cans

Via The Drum

Scottish soft drink brand Irn-Bru is known for its cheeky ads. So when a UK competitor launched a drink called "Pussy," I imagine they took it as a challenge.

With "Fanny" cans, Irn-Bru is also taking a shot at a European Coca-Cola campaign that puts popular first names on cans. (For those unaware, "Fanny" is UK slang for female genitals.)

Via NPR

Yeah, it's all a joke. There are no immediate plans to roll out the Fanny cans in retail. But it's a good bit of lighthearted meta-marketing online.

It's not even the first time Irn-Bru has made a Fanny gag. This spot is from last year:

Creative team proposes "Take Your Non-Ad Person to Work Day"

That's right — we poor, misunderstood Creatives need some empathy from loved ones. Because how many times have you described a hard day of arriving late, then spending eight hours coming up with the perfect tagline for a client while drinking at work, only to be told "must be nice"?

There are six ads in this series (via Ads of The World) but this is the best one. Oddly, after all this work to promote themselves, creative team Mark Moll and Jason Busa lazed out and repeated the same body copy on all of them.

Mocking the pretentious fashion "film"

There's been a trend, lately, for fashion brands to use the freedom of social media to give in to every excess in their advertising. As a result, their online ads have grown into excruciatingly pretentious fashion "films" featuring models living fantasy lives.

Vena Cava's budget label, Viva Vena has opted to satirize this trend with this film by Matthew Frost, featuring Lizzy Caplan:



Tip via Slate.

Comedy Central Latin America: "BLEEP Canada"

Ads of the World just posted this bizarre video promoting Comedy Central's expansion into Latin America. Created by Wieden + Kennedy,  Brazil, it presents a self-deprecating nature documentary satire of what happens to Canadian hawks that migrate to South America:



As a Canadian, I am not in the least offended. But I laughed.

Pranksters successfully trade their homosexuality for some free Chick-fil-A with a fake coupon

John Nelson and Robert Stiefler run the satirical Chick-fil-A Foundation, through which they troll fundamentalist Christians in the name of LOLs. It's presumably a reaction to the chicken fast food chain's recent messy run-in with the public fight over equal marriage in the US.

The coupon, above, was part of the Chick-fil-A Foundation's "Trade Your Homosexuality for a Chicken Sandwich Day!" promotion last year.

In the video below, John and Robert actually succeeded in redeeming two of the coupons at an unspecified Chick-fil-A, despite the fact that the fake text says it's valid at the controversial NYU store and only on March 6, 2012 (the video was just published two days ago).

I'm wondering if the manager just gave them the sandwiches to get rid of them quickly.

Here's a less obvious fake coupon from the site:

Tip via Gawker

Boing Boing get hoaxed, reports Bill Nye calling GOP "retards"

It seemed too funny to be true, and it was.

Boing Boing's Jason Weisberger reported that Bill Nye, who has recently issued a video plea to American parents about science education, totally lost his shit.

Here's the copy:

Once again, super science instructor and amazing guy Bill Nye tells it like it is. This morning, on an interview with the Smithsonian Channel, Nye responded to US Congressman Todd Akin's ridiculous statement that a recent video on teaching science over creationism was responsible for Hurricane Issac. 

"Look, these people they're fucking retarded. Rape can't cause pregnancy? Breastmilk cures homosexuality? I caused a hurricane by challenging creationism? Who can possibly take these people seriously anymore?" 

Nye also challenged Akin to a debate. I would absolutely love to be in attendance for this one. 

"So Todd I got an offer for you. You and me. Any time. Any place. Debating science mano- a-mano. I'll bring the facts, and you bring the Vaseline. Because your ass is gonna fucking need it when I'm done whipping."

Yeah, I know. Reads like The Onion. I couldn't believe that such an intelligent and, well, nice man would ever call someone a "retard". And the last quote was completely out there.

But it was on Boing Boing, so I shared it. With a one-word comment: "whoa".

Pretty soon, my brother told me the link was dead. Luckily, Google cached it.

Also deleted, but cached, is the source article from the Daily Currant:

Bill Nye may still be The Science Guy, but he's no longer Mr. Nice Guy.

During a live interview this morning with the Smithsonian Channel, the mild mannered science educator unloaded on U.S. Congressman Todd Akin, calling him "a fucking idiot" for accusing Nye of personally provoking Hurricane Issac.

Last week Nye uploaded a video to Youtube urging parents not to teach their children creationism. At a town hall campaign event yesterday, Akin used the video as an example of immoral behavior driving god to punish America through extreme weather.
Although reporters reached out to Nye for a statement yesterday, his first discussion of the matter came this morning at Smithsonian's Washington D.C. headquarters. 

Nye Got a Feeling... 

The 56 year old star of the long-running "Bill Nye The Science Guy" was in the studio to promote his new documentary series focusing on the neuroscience of childhood development.
After briefly discussing his show, the Smithsonian anchors asked Nye about Akin's recent accusation. The normally genial Nye wasted no time venting his rage about the comments: 

"Look, these people they're fucking retarded. Rape can't cause pregnancy? Breastmilk cures homosexuality? I caused a hurricane by challenging creationism? Who can possibly take these people seriously anymore?" 

The slightly uncomfortable anchors then tried to change the subject, but Nye persisted:
"It used to be these Republicans didn't believe in global warming or evolution. That was bad enough. Now they don't even believe in egg + sperm = baby. Where does Todd Akin think babies come from? Does he think there are separate storks for people who were raped and people who weren't? " 

"Hey look over there! It's the rape stork. It drops off all its babies directly at the orphanage."
"He's a fucking idiot. Just a plain fucking idiot. I'm sorry - I don't say that word very often - but it happens to fit in this case. He's just a fucking idiot."

A Decent Proposal 

As the stunned anchors hurriedly tried to wind the conversation down and cut to commercial, Nye stared directly into the camera and issued a challenge to his new-found rival: 

"So Todd I got an offer for you. You and me. Any time. Any place. Debating science mano- a-mano. I'll bring the facts, and you bring the Vaseline. Because your ass is gonna fucking need it when I'm done whipping." 

Nye apologized once more for his language before ripping off his microphone and walking off the set. 

Representatives of the Smithsonian Channel say they have no comment on the incident.
Bill Nye could not be reached, but a since-deleted tweet on his Twiiter account posted shortly after the incident read: 

"@ToddAkin Never enter the eye of Hurricane NYE!" 

In case you missed it, The Daily Currant is a satire site. 

Related stories include:

• Todd Akin Blames Bill Nye for Hurricane
• Todd Akin Claims Breastmilk Cures Homosexuality
• Trump Announces Casino on Site of Obama’s ‘Kenyan Birthplace’

It's like all those times when conservative media took Onion stories about Harry Potter satanism and gay recruitment seriously; but this time it's the right wing that is having a good laugh at "the liberals'" expense. (It's usually the other way around.)

What surprises me about the gullibility of Boing Boing is the fact that Huffington Post covered another Currant-fuelled hoax just days ago.

This isn't Boing Boing's first hoaxing, though. Like almost everyone else on the internet, they believed the brilliant "Shellfail" video was real.

This kind of thing can happen to anyone. I get pulled in too, now and again. But the silence on this one is deafening. I would really love a comment from someone at Boing Boing.

The Daily Currant, by the way, is currently offline. Maybe they were the real victims of Hurricane Nye...

UPDATE: It's back.

Chewbacca celebrated Star Wars Day by having a bubble bath with two women

The last remnants of the Empire have been defeated, and it is a period of peace in the galaxy. The Jedi Order, no longer needed in their role as defenders, have scattered across the stars and started new lives...while the Sith wait quietly hidden in their midst. Such a Jedi and her Sith counterpart have found common ground and established a new business together on a remote planet. United by a love of animals and a belief in the force, they have rededicated their lives to the art of grooming. Their latest mission leads them to the base of a former Rebel. Though the war is over, they have not forgotten where their true allegiances lie...

This is one strange fake ad. Last Friday, "May the Fourth (be with you)", was Star Wars Day, and it inspired this Seth Green-directed commercial spoof: According to Nerdist:

"The Fourth is in Force at the Nerdist Channel, where nothing says celebrating Star Wars fandom like two lovely ladies with lightsabers. "Saber 2: Return of the Body Wash" sees Rileah Vanderbilt and Clare Grant returning to their popular fake-but-we-wish-it-were real cologne commercial world with a curvaceous clone-war twist. Watch as things get wetter than the planet Kamino in the newest Duel of the Femme Fatales."

Ummm... okay. Clare Grant, by the way, is Seth Green's wife.

How to speak governmentese

My brother David shared this action plan some jokester in the Canadian federal government left on a meeting room whiteboard.

It reads:

1. Integrate the synergy. 

2. Leverage the traction.

3. Solidify engagement though positive traction.

4. Optimize feasibility by enhancing roadmaps.

5. Reduce industry jargon.

Sounds good. But they forgot "collect underpants".

Canada for President!

"In our riots, people get laid"

This cute video proposes a third option to cynical American voters for the 2012 Presidential Election: Canada.

Think about it: better healthcare, a stronger economy, poutine... we really have a lot to offer. And, as the Canada Party points out, we've been getting more American lately anyway.



The video could have been much funnier, but according to an interview in the Scottish ad blog, The Drum, there are many more campaign ads to come between now and November.

Here's the background:

"[Brian] Calvert and American-born writer Chris Cannon developed the idea while throwing around concepts for a politically-based comedy project and Cannon's idea of Canada as a political party. 

Of the present US election debate, Calvert says, 'I can't believe anyone can see who to vote for.' 

Filmed in a friend's living room, the video has the national anthem, O Canada, playing softly in the background as Calvert pokes fun at both America and his homeland. 

Running on a platform of 'America, but better,' Calvert explained the theme was actually a position many political candidates were taking: restoring American to its former glory.
Putting aside that it's a country and not a person, Calvert acknowledges that Canada was not born in the U.S. 

'But the first seven presidents weren't born in America," he says. "Both of our parents are the British, so it's like we're brothers.'"

F'd Ad Fridays: SFW Porn is not a great theme for an Agency Christmas Card

Via TEDOA

Well, duh. Safe For Work Porn is so three years ago.

And now a Corporate Social Responsibility message from Big Tobacco

(Via 22 Words. Thanks to Jackie Di C for sharing.)

The killing probably has a bigger impact than the greening, though, because the locked-up carbon gets released into the atmosphere (and people's lungs) pretty damn quickly.

F'd Ad Fridays: Rate everything with Jotly

"Everything about your life is exciting. To everyone."

That's the pitch for Jotly, the only app you'll ever need to rate every goddamn thing on the planet.

Just check out this long and rambling, but somehow charismatic, ad:



Imagine!

Yeah, it's a joke.

Thanks to Edd for the tip.

F'd Ad Fridays: Throwing your own poo (it's not a good look)

Copyranter shared this one from Belfast:

'ranter points out that the URL is for the city's anti-littering site. It's actually a satirical art hack of this campaign:

F'd Ad Fridays: The Googlher pings you in the...

This one is pretty naughty, so you'll want to watch with discretion. There are loud moans.



Apparently, it is based on Google Alarm, an application that alerts you every time Google interacts with (pings) your computer as part of its updates and data mining.

F.A.T. explains:

The Googlher is a device which plugs into your computer and triggers a bullet vibrator any time that Google pings your web browser (with the aid of The Googlher Firefox Add-on). By doing so, The Googlher translates Google’s pervasive reach into highly stimulating vibrations for vaginal or anal web browsing. Mistrust and fear Google’s omnipotent ways no longer as the web giant profoundly soothes, touches, and moves you. This is perhaps the biggest thing to happen to augmented reality since the invention of methamphetamine.

What an interesting way to remind people that Google is getting intimate with their personal habits. And nerds will be pleased to know that it's open source.