Supermodel covers Blondie in her bikini

There's nothing new about a model singing in accented monotone — Nico was the patron saint of that.

But Nico had the magic of the '60s New York City art scene behind her, as well as the music of the Velvet Underground, Jackson Browne, and other great collaborators.

Gisele Bundchen, on the other hand, has Auto-Tune and a weak arrangement of the classic new wave/disco crossover hit by French DJ Bob Sinclair:



Oh yeah, and it's an ad for swimwear. In case you missed it.

According to Ace Showbiz, the ad was given a premiere showing on Good Morning America yesterday.

The only good thing about it is that H&M is donating all royalties from the song's iTunes sales to UNICEF. If anyone buys it.

You could also buy this instead, and donate directly to UNICEF here:

Target's pathetic Photoshop disaster

What were they thinking? This swimsuit from Target is featured on their site with some of the worst Photoshop "slimming" you will see today:

That's right! Really, really poor job at cutting into the waist and arm, as well as a hamfisted attempt at cropping out an artificial thigh gap on the model. 

If it weren't part of an ongoing attempt to mould unrealistic bodies in fashion marketing, it would almost be funny.

H/T Photoshop Disasters (@adamzea claims credit for tipping them off.)

More awkward Target PSed thigh gaps here, here and here.

Update: After this was shared on Jezebel and Buzzfeed, target pulled this picture and apologized. (You're welcome!)

Vogue's weird tribute to Hurricane Sandy rescue workers

According to Refinery29, this Vogue photoshoot of models Karlie Kloss, Chanel Iman, and Arizona Muse next to Hurricane Sandy first responders "is trying to glam up the crucial, hard-working, and decidedly unglamorous heroes".

Shot by Annie Leibowitz, the series at first looks like some kind of sick joke. But Stylite reports that it's part of a very real commitment by Vogue:

Vogue teamed up with the CFDA to raise $1.7 million for relief efforts through their Fashion for Sandy Relief auction, which offered lots like tea with Grace Coddington and an internship stint with DKNY‘s PR guru Aliza Licht. 

In the February issue, the magazine is honoring New York’s heroic emergency response teams who got the city back on its feet after the storm, and are still working in the harder hit areas to this day, with a powerful and beautifully-photographed editorial. Annie Leibovitz photographed models like Karlie Kloss, Chanel Iman, and Arizona Muse alongside members of the NYPD Special Ops, nurses at Bellevue Hospital‘s neonatal care unit, firefighters from FDNY’s Far Rockaway house, officers from the National Guard‘s 69th Infantry, servicemen from the US Coast Guard, and workers from Con Edison. 

Often, fashion magazines can seem tone deaf when it comes to dealing with current affairs and larger issues, but in this case, we think Leibovitz’s lens conveys the strength of the teams and magnitude of the event with grace.

 Nice pics. But I have to admit, I doubt I'll ever totally "get" fashion...

MAC hires woman body builder to model "Strength"

Jezebel loves this. I think it's powerful advertising, in that it's eye-catching and on-message.

The woman in the ad is Jelena Abbou. And yes, "they" are real. Jezebel's Jenna Sauers points out that this ad is going against common perceptions of heavily-muscled women as seeming less feminine. I think that's a good point. But on the other hand, if the nearly-impossibly thin model ideal were to be replaced with a nearly-impossibly fit one, will the average woman be any happier?

Nevertheless, they have my attention.

Anna Nicole Smith's 6-year-old daughter is the new face of Guess Kids

Child models will probably always be with us, and the best we can hope for is that they are not exploited. But did the fact that 6-year-old Dannielynn Hope Marshall Birkhead's mother was notorious Playboy and fashion model Anna Nicole Smith enter into their choice?

Personally, this makes me uneasy. Dannielynn's mother died of an overdose of several prescription drugs when the girl was just an infant. The baby's paternity was immediately challenged, as she instantly became an heiress. 

Now, she's a model. At age six. But who is looking out for this girl? 

Last year, the Daily Mail reported:

her father Larry Birkhead, who was forced to establish paternity in a suit against Smith's then partner and lawyer Howard K. Stern, seems to have done a good job of making sure that this little girl who endured such tragedy around her during her first days on this planet, has a normal life.

Guess is getting tons of coverage over this stunt. And I'm sure Dannielynn is building up quite a trust fund, on top of her $10 million inheritance. But I really, really hope this kid has a better future ahead of her than mom did.

Tip via Buzzfeed

Calvin Klein pushes cleavage

Oh, look! Boobs. I don't know whether I should be annoyed at the objectification of Dutch model Lara Stone's mammalian protuberances, or just sad that every lazy ad like this is starting to look like The Gap did it.

Model sues Volvo for implying her vulva was for sale #FdAdFriday

In a Hertz promotional ad apparently written by a 12-year-old boy during an Axe-scented sleepover with his bros, "Swedish models" are offered up as if they were escorts. The ad's placement on an Australian singles' site didn't help matters.

Yeah, it's all very punny. But American model Carolyn Giles took offence at her pic being used in such a suggestive manner. (No mention of whether she minded being portrayed as Swedish.) According to Business Insider, she is suing Volvo and Hertz for $10 million for making it "appear that she may be an escort, with extreme sexual and inappropriate connotations and innuendos." Her agency, Ford Models, is also named for failing to protect her best interests.

The 30-year-old model shot a web ad for Volvo back in 2007, and the picture was reused (without compensation) on a series of Hertz ads including the Volvo/a one above.

Lanvin joins the mature model trend

(Sorry for two weeks of absence, dear readers. I was on vacation.)

I wrote recently about American Apparel's refreshing change from barely legal, semi-pornographic ads, with the introduction of 60-year-old model Jacky O’Shaughnessy in their "Advanced Basics" campaign.

Now, Paris fashion house Lanvin has included 82-year-old Jacqueline Murdock in its campaign for the women's winter line.

Shot by Steven Meisel, Ms.  Murdock is a former Apollo Theatre dancer who had always dreamed of being a model. But, she told Fashionista, "The opportunity was not there at my time for women of color."

Tip via Shift

American Apparel enters a silver age

Fashionista posted this recent American Apparel ad, featuring "Jacky", a model who is not only fully clothed but also appears to be over the age of 20.

Okay, she's still offering her crotch to the world, but they have a brand to think about here!

UPDATE: More from Jacky at Fashionista

Model teaches jocks proper fingering technique #FdAdFriday

Supermodel Kate Upton is a pro at home video games. Who knew?

So here she is coaching Justin Verlander of the Detroit Tigers, David Price of the Tampa Bay Rays, Jay Bruce of the Cincinnati Reds and Los Angeles Angels pitcher C.J. Wilson how to handle their bats and balls in Major League Baseball 2K12.



Ummm... head

Via James Addicted

How young is too young to model?

In these days of Toddlers & Tiaras, it's easy to think that our media-saturated, image-obsessed culture has lost the sense to let prepubescent children get a pass on commercial sexual exploitation.

Well, one person has stood up to sexualized fashion images of young girls like Kaia Gerber above, who is only ten, appearing in a Young Versace campaign earlier this year.

Her mother has had enough. While she originally told fashion press she was "so thrilled" that Kaia was chosen for such a prestigious assignment, she has since had second thoughts. She has gone so far as to forbid the girl to model until she is at least 17. “At this point, she's too young to pursue a career," the mom explains. "There aren't even a handful of jobs for a 10-year-old girl. But if she's 17 and wants to try it, of course, what can I say?"

Great decision, Cindy Crawford! You see? Some models are actually quite smart and grounded.

Are they casting models, or snuff porn victims?

Bareface talent agency, in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, has chosen a weird way to promote its services. These ads, by Livingroom, appeared on Ads of The World over the weekend, and I'm still bothered enough by them to post here. 

Yes, I get the idea of the models being pulled every which way by fashion industry objects as representing being "in demand". But this is the freaking UAE. Women are already treated like chattel there. Accordig to Amnesty, "women in the United Arab Emirates continue to suffer the impact of discriminatory laws and practices which affect most aspectsof their life, including marriage and the choice of marriage partner, dissolution of marriage and child custody, and inheritance." Not to mention the threat of being arrested for adultery if they are victims of rape.

Not to mention the danger of foreign models being scammed and abused by unscrupulous recruiters. Or trafficked into prostitution.

So why have the models looking like they are being strangled? Even if unintentionally violent, these images are really not the best way to promote a more westernized fashion industry.

The Models are Revolting!

Well, not really. They're just organizing.


The Model Alliance Video Campaign from The Model Alliance on Vimeo.



Not quite a union, it seems, but a not-for-profit advocacy group that lets models report violations of labour laws and worse.

Here are The Model Alliance's goals:

1. Provide access to affordable health care.
2. Promote greater financial transparency.
3. Ensure that existing child labor laws are enforced.
4. Establish a grievance and enforcement system for issues of sexual harassment.
5. Draft a code of conduct that sets industry-wide standards for castings, shoots and shows.

They've even drafted a modelling bill of rights. It's a good idea. Even the minor-league models I've known over the years have been subject to poor working conditions and sexual harassment.

Sure, you might think of awful supermodels and be unmoved. But think of the thousands of anonymous men, women, boys and girls who are chewed up and spit out by an industry that is the very definition of superficiality. They could use a rescue network.

Via Jezebel

F'd Ad Fridays: Sucks to be a model

Is this for real? It was uploaded a couple of days ago.



The humour is pretty original, but I can't see how this is not going to offend people. Which is probably the intent, because of all the PR. But is that going to get them ahead with their target market?

Hmmm...

Via Creative Criminals

H&M and the curious case of the cyborg models

Look at these two models, from the H&M online catalogue:

Here are three more:

Notice anything... odd?

According to Jezebel, "The bodies of most of the models H&M features on its website are computer-generated and 'completely virtual,' the company has admitted. H&M designs a body that can better display clothes made for humans than humans can, then 'dresses' it by drawing on its clothes, and digitally pastes on the heads of real women in post-production."

In other words, they're just digital paper dolls. Pick a skin tone, add an outfit and photoshop in a real head. Why a real head? Well, humans have pretty fine-tuned facial recognition software in their heads. We tend to be freaked out by fake faces that are too close for comfort, pushing us into the uncanny valley.

You will notice however, on this pose, that they re-use the same headshot over and over again as well.

And in case you're wondering, they have cyborg male models too:

What do you think of this tactic? Its advantage is consistency in showing off the clothes; after all, models are supposed to be mannequins. Plus if they were a little more overt about it, with a disclaimer that "models bodies are computer generated — do not try this at home" then maybe it would help to overcome the whole dysmorphia and eating disorder issue with both models and their followers.

After all, there was a time when fashion was usually sold by illustration.

Is this any different? I'd love to hear your opinions. (Well, those of most of you anyway.)

F'd Ad Fridays: Underwear models show off their intellect

This video Christmas card from Victoria's Secret isn't doing any favours for the dignity of the modelling trade.



What a bunch of boobs.

Via Illegal Advertising

F'd Ad Fridays: Nude Modelling Camp (sounds totally legit)

Photographer Beau Picasso is keeping the dream alive for short, creepy men everywhere. He has apparently found a way to convince women to pay him to take them to isolated locations where they strip naked and pose for his camera.

And it's not even a professional camera.

"Models are whisked from the airport to a reception at the roof top pool of the five-star Elysée Palace hotel, where they meet the other models from around the world. They are assigned to shared apartments (three models fit quite comfortably) and they start to get excited about the next morning’s shoot at Coco Beach. 

A relaxed photo shoot with Beau and his female assistants (who are also photographers) is sometimes interrupted by swims in the Mediterranean and sun tanning. Then, perhaps, a sunset picnic on the beach and an excited conversation about the next day’s shoot. 

Our camps provide shared apartment style accommodations with complete kitchen, wifi access and 24-hour security. We are only steps away from the beach, food, culture, and shopping. A 50% deposit is required upon registration and the balance is due before camp begins."

Here's one of Beau's softcore porn infomercials. It contains nudity and sleaze:


Beau Picasso Models: On the French Riviera from James Anthony on Vimeo.

UK fashion brand takes a ribbing over super-skinny model pics

Fashionista reports that the UK Advertising Standards Authority ordered Drop Dead Clothing to remove the above bikini photos of Scottish model Amanda Hendrick from their online catalogue:

“The ASA considered the model was very slim. We also noted that in the bikini and denim shorts images, hollows in her thighs were noticeable and she had prominent thigh bones,” the ruling said. “We considered that in combination with the stretched out pose and heavy eye make-up, the model looked underweight in the pictures.”

The Daily Record says Carol Sykes, of Drop Dead Clothing, has accepted the ruling but not the rationale.

"Amanda is not anorexic or unhealthy and eats a very good diet. She's just a naturally thin person. She's my son's former girlfriend and a family friend. She had modelled for us for three years and we'd never had any complaints. Do I think people should aspire to be like her? Yes, because she is a beautiful person and jets around the world earning £600 plus a day. She's got a successful career and no mental health problems. Do I think removing a picture of Amanda will stop people being mentally ill? No, I don't."

 Umm, OK. The curveless model still appears in some less revealing outfits at the DDC store.

For me, the question is not whether or not Ms. Hendrick has an eating disorder. It's why the brand thought she was the right type of shape to model swimwear. Generally, swimwear models are much more robust in the hips shoulders (etc.), to show off a swimsuit's waist- and breast-enhancing appeal. Seeing this skinny model in such a context is not so much appealing as alarming. It reminds me of the nude fashion show in Altman's film Prêt-à-Porter, in which you are confronted with the realization that high fashion models only look sexy with their clothes on — as they lack any prominent secondary sexual characteristics that would ruin the line or the drape of the look.

Anyway, Drop Dead got publicity, Amanda Hendrick got notoriety, and the ASA got its way. This "scandal" is probably beneficial for everyone involved... except for the young women consumers who are being told that visible ribs are a thing now.

But apparently, asses are "out".

That said, I still don't believe that the pictures should have been banned. As irresponsible as the portrayal is, I think we're better off exposing the cynicism of the brand and trying to educate consumers rather than regulating taste. But that's just me.

Amber Rose for gross flavoured vodka

Amber Rose is a model who has dated Kanye West and done ads for Louis Vuitton. Whatever you think those two facts say about her taste, this current campaign for flavoured vodka really makes me question it.

Marshmallow? Whipped Cream? While I realize that flavouring vodka is an old tradition (or so says Absolut), I'm not sure that these kid-friendly flavours are what the old country forefathers had in mind.

At least she didn't front for Nut Liquor.

Via Jezebel

F'd Ad Fridays: American stereotypes, cast in polyresin for your enjoyment

I was doing my usual rounds for content, and decided to see if I could find any tacky Jesus Christ toys on Amazon. (There were many.)

And then I stumbled upon this:

Jesus is part of the "American Diorama" series of die cast metal miniatures. You can also buy his girlfriend Erika, complete with acid wash jeans and slutty top:

Am I reading too much into the choice of a Latino name for this guy?

BTW, he also has a twin brother, Jose, who for some reason costs $2 more.

Ah, wait... here's the problem. They screwed up the product shot. According to the manufacturer's site, Jesus is actually this car thief:

His half-dressed girlfriend is Monica.

And he likes to steal police cars.

Man, Sheriff Dave is going to be pissed.

Once he finishes writing up these very strange looking rednecks for open liquor at their tailgate party.

And runs the Hell's Angels out of town...

And don't even ask what he's going to do to Sailor Moon (...?)

Ah, America...

Check out Monica's Arschgeweih...