"Two sides to touch. Twice the sensations." reads this French ad for the PlayStation Vita.
According to Adrants, English Sony people on the other side of the Channel have completely disavowed the ad, following a PR shitstorm on Twitter and elsewhere, stating "this advert is not creative that we are or would consider running in the UK."
Way to improve the image of gamers, Sony France. Now people will be convinced that your target market really is composed entirely of zitty 15-year-old boys who can only fantasize about what actual women's breasts feel like.
I don't think you need to speak Japanese to get the overal message of this Sega promotional video, starring bikini model Yukie Kawamura. She plays the popular video game Super Monkey Ball on the new PS Vita platform. (Apparently this is a big deal.) During the play, she balances a bubble in her cleavage, is visited by a giant monkey mascot, and does contortions for the amusement of the all-male crew.
There is also a shorter vid, which shows new "adult" features of the game.
"Sega’s Super Monkey Ball series is about cute cartoon moneys rolling around in hamster balls collecting bananas. It’s about as kid-friendly as a series can get, so of course Sega, master of understanding what makes its own franchises work, has added “adult” levels to the upcoming PS Vita version of Monkey Ball.
Yup, in these levels the normal floor textures have been replaced by pictures of Japanese bikini model Yukie Kawamura, whose protruding breasts act as obstacles for your adorable hamster ball monkeys. So yeah, basically some burnt out developer at Sega, depressed at being forced to work on yet another Monkey Ball game, just decided to dump the contents of his softcore porn file into the game instead of designing textures."
"Adult"? ...right. It's all about attracting more adolescent boys and turning them into men who fantasize about weird shit like this:
Wait... what?
Coincidentally, "sega" is Italian slang for male masturbation (from the verb "segare", "to saw")...
Supermodel Kate Upton is a pro at home video games. Who knew?
So here she is coaching Justin Verlander of the Detroit Tigers, David Price of the Tampa Bay Rays, Jay Bruce of the Cincinnati Reds and Los Angeles Angels pitcher C.J. Wilson how to handle their bats and balls in Major League Baseball 2K12.
"Are you an animal person? Well, not like me cos most people are made up entirely of person. And if you're a person person, then you'd be missing out on the duality of life. With the Sims 3 Pets you can have a pet or be a pet. You can play both ways. So, go on, experiment. Chase some tail. Play with life".
According to BoingBoing, Britain's Advertising Standards Authority (who always make for good blog) received a complaint about the sexualized nature of this ad, featuring both people and animals (as well as people as animals):
"A TV ad, for a console game, included an animated character that had a human body and a dog's head. It stated "Are you an animal person? Well, not like me cos most people are made up entirely of person. And if you're a person person, then you'd be missing out on the duality of life. With the Sims 3 Pets you can have a pet or be a pet. You can play both ways. So, go on, experiment. Chase some tail. Play with life". The ad also included animated scenes of a man playing a guitar surrounded by animals and other people. He was also shown in a bath and then appeared about to kiss a woman on a bed."
Issue
1. Some of the complainants challenged whether the ad, in particular the scene with the couple on a bed, was likely to cause serious or widespread offence.
2. Most of the complainants challenged whether the ad, in particular the scene with the couple on a bed, was suitable to be broadcast when children might be watching.
...
Assessment
1. Not upheld
The ASA considered the presentation of the ad was such that it was clear that it was for a videogame and that the scenarios shown were not a reflection of real life. We acknowledged some viewers might find the content of the ad, in particular the scene of the couple on the bed, distasteful but considered most viewers were likely to interpret it as being light hearted and mildly suggestive, rather than as being overtly sexual. We therefore concluded that it was not likely to cause serious or widespread offence.
On this point, we investigated the ad under BCAP Code rule 4.2 (Harm and offence) but did not find it in breach.
2. Not upheld
We considered the scene of the couple on the bed was mildly suggestive but noted it was brief and that although they appeared about to kiss, kissing did not take place. We considered the ad did not include anything that was likely to cause harm or distress to children or was otherwise unsuitable for them. We therefore concluded that the ad did not breach the Code.
On this point, we investigated the ad under BCAP Code rule 32.3 (Scheduling of television and radio advertisements) but did not find it in breach."
It's long, it's nerdy, and it's kind of terrifying. Technology nerd Ben Heck painstakingly designs a device that amechanically extrudes a Hot Pocket from the top of your Xbox 360 controller so that you can take bites of dough-wrapped greasy goop without having to pause your favourite game.
It's oddly compelling, in a "this is the end of civilization as we know it" kind of way.
"When on a mission to rescue the princess, Mario has been known to use any means necessary to defeat his enemy—even wearing the skin of a raccoon dog to give him special powers.
Tanooki may be just a "suit" in Mario games, but in real life, tanuki are raccoon dogs who are skinned alive for their fur. By wearing Tanooki, Mario is sending the message that it's OK to wear fur. Play Super Tanooki Skin 2D and help Tanooki reclaim his fur!"
In this version of the game (complete with infuriating MIDI-type music), you are the skinned raccoon dog, chasing after a flying Mario, dripping blood from your flayed pelt he has wrapped himself in. Fun for the whole family!
Adland reports that this trailer for Duke Nukem Forever has been banned from British TV during primetime.
The ASA said, "In regard to the scenes of violence, the ASA admitted that the ad was not overly graphic for broadcast after 9pm. However, the ad watchdog said that the scenes showing "women's naked bodies and their very sexual movements and gyrations were overly sexually explicit" for airing at 9pm."
I'm not a gamer myself, but I try to keep up on pop culture. This game is a revival of the Duke Nukem character of the'90s, who was an over-the-top send up on action stars of the '80s, particularly Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone.
Whatever you think of the genre, as a teenage boy at that time it was lots of fun. The bad guys were cartoonish, and the good guys were tough and funny.
But the Nukem game added an extra pop culture element that was missing from those films: women as commoditized tits and ass as reward for the ero. For that, you had to go to sci fi fantasy sources like Heavy Metal.
It's hard to believe this guy was played by John Candy.
The game then combines two major instincts shared by many teenage boys — sex and violence. Nothing new there. The whole post-Vietnam war movie genre is based on the idea of bloodily annihilating scores of faceless, dehumanized foreigners. Sometimes that includes the real war activities of raping civilian women or else taking advantage of locals driven to prostitution.
"Me love you long time!" from Full Metal Jacket
The Duke Nukem world makes the awful human tragedy of warfare even more accessible to boys with somewhat of an undamaged moral compass. The dehumanized foreigners are truly inhuman—they're aliens. And instead of violating or paying women for sexual rewards, Duke enjoys free beer and shows from another professional class of sex worker — strippers.
One gamer has been helpful enough to record some of the "mature" highlights of the game and post them on YouTube:
In addition to the strippers, it has Duke getting hammered at the "club" and getting blown in a glory hole immediately after urinating (you actually thought that was a woman, Duke?) But don't worry, there's vicarious rape too, as the lesbian incestuous twins kiss each other then get kidnapped, sexually assimilated, impregnated and exploded by the enemy.
Their last words? "We'll get the weight off, in like a week! We swear!"
Like I said before, I was a pubescent boy once too. And the over-the-top humour is obvious. But part of me hoped that the portrayals of men and women in popular youth media would get better, instead of worse, in 20 years. Fortunately, I believe most young het men are still capable of growing out of these ideas. Especially when they reach the maturity level where they are capable of interacting with real female humans.
Why? Because they are telling the truth about what these little boxes do to kids. They isolate them from normal external and social stimulus and make them into obsessive couch potatoes.
Many parents might love the convenience of plugging your kid into personal digital media. Hey, they aren't running around causing trouble. They aren't talking at you non-stop. They aren't really asking for anything, except the latest game and some Kraft Dinner once in a while.
But you know what? Kids are supposed to be hard work. They learn by asking, interacting, and getting into all kinds of real world mayhem.
Yes, some games can reinforce mental skills, coordination, etc. But so does being in touch with the outside world. Kids need the right mix of both to grow up healthy and happy.
These ads may be intended as funny, but they're way too close to the reality I see around me to make me chuckle.
I'm not quite sure what their roles are, but if this teaser video is anything to go by, they lick their lips and shake their rounded bits at the players—presumably before speeding off into unattainability.
Talk about realism!
Not exactly a great leap forward for women in media. But pretty expected for a target audience of guys who spend way too much time fiddling with their controllers.
Making the rounds online, the "Nude Gaming Party" is a not-at-all disguised ad for XtendPlay ergonomic PS and Xbox controllers. (They out themselves in the YouTube link with their URL and the question, "Would you attend nude gaming parties if they were real?")
Fun little ad, which must have been particularly entertaining to film. I think YouTube user masterneme speaks for the entire internet in the comment, "Uncensored version NOW!"
The big news this week in gaming circles is the release of "Call of Duty: Black Ops", the newest first-person-shooter war game for Xbox and PS3.
Normally, I wouldn't even notice this kind of thing, but along with the release came this ad:
Cute, eh? "There's a soldier in all of us."
Now, I won't get into any blah-blah-blah about violent video games and the downfall of civilization. Nor will I put down a pop subculture that I don't really understand.
Instead, I'd like to ask the marketing department at Treyarch: Did it have to come out this week?
Tomorrow is a day when we are supposed to mourn and honour the war dead, and hope (or pray) that we will never have to fight another big war. In Canada and the Commonwealth, we call it Remebrance Day. In the States, it is Veteran's Day.
Look, I get the appeal of these games, and the opportunities they give people to get a lot of aggression out of their systems. And I don't mind that they're out there. But to launch a massive marketing campaign that characterizes war as fun for everyone, just before we observe our moment of silence for the honoured dead, is simply tasteless and disrespectful. The war dead, the veterans and their family and friends deserve better.
Because this is a time when we should remind ourselves — if even for one minute — that war does not look like this:
