Showing posts with label apple. Show all posts
Showing posts with label apple. Show all posts

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Paypal snarks Apple in full-page NYT ad


According to Cult of Mac (**shudder**) this ad ran as a full page in the New York Times last week. While Apple isn't specifically mentioned, the reference to stolen nudes is an obvious hit at the company, whose iCloud security was questioned in the breach. (Apple denies this.)

Paypal obviously feels the heat from the new iPhone's Apple Pay feature, so casting doubt on Apple's general security might seem like a great idea. But it seems pretty underhanded to me.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Microsoft's answer to Siri is... a naked cyberwoman?


I get that there are actually people out there for whom Siri's voice is a fetish. But did Microsoft really need to embody theirs in an imaginary naked woman?

Cortana, Microsoft's new digital assistant, was named after a highly sexualized "assistant" character in Halo video games. While the actual application icon is just a blue circle, the internet has already exploded with the idea of having the sexy subordinate of their gamer fantasies speak to them on their phones (through the iconic voice of Jen Taylor).

Way to make tech more woman-friendly, Microsoft. Bravo.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Is this "Plastic Surgery Barbie" App for kids a sick joke?




At the iTunes store, it's described like this:
This unfortunate girl has so much extra weight that no diet can help her. In our clinic she can go through a surgery called liposuction that will make her slim and beautiful. We'll need to make small cuts on problem areas and suck out the extra fat. Will you operate her, doctor?
The developer, Corina Rodriguez, is behind a range of cartoonish and oddly medicalized Apps apparently aimed at girls, such as "Barbie Dentist & Barbie Dress up" and "Leg & Foot Surgery & Doctor & Hospital Office for Barbie".

@everydaysexism is currently trying to organize a Twitter protest to have the game, which is marketed to age 9 and up, removed from iTunes.

In the interest of pseudojournalism, I downloaded the free App and played it for as long as I could stomach (pun intended). As expected, it mostly delivers a barrage of pop up ads. But in between, and scored by awful stock music, you are actually taken through the steps of a cartoon liposuction using a manual bicycle pump:


I didn't stick around for the facelift.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Femen parody the Apple logo


Since I last wrote about Ukraine's most famous feminists, they have moved their main operations to Paris, France, and have started merchandising quite heavily to raise funds for their ongoing topless activism.

I wonder what lawsuit-happy Apple will think of this one?

Friday, October 26, 2012

The Beatles' Apple is now Apple's Apple

Remember Apple? No, not that Apple. This one:

Via
When I was a kid, in the '70s and early '80s, finding an original Beatles album with the green apple label at a used record store was like finding gold. The iconic brand was founded by The Fab Four themselves as part of Apple Corps Ltd., and was intended not only to publish Beatles albums and singles, but also to sign unknown and deserving talent in music, fashion, even technology.

via

The original "Apple Store" in London, known as the Apple Boutique was a bust, losing so much money that The Beatles closed shop and gave away all the merchandise. The label did much better, signing notable performers such as Mary Hopkin, James Taylor, Badfinger, and Billy Preston (as well, obviously, as being home the most famous band in the world at the time).

Blank apple label signed by James Taylor.
Am I the only one who saw naughty things in it?

The original Apple brand was still going strong with Beatles reissues in 1978, when an upstart computer company, Apple Computer (now Apple Inc.) started using the fruit for its own branding purposes. Apple Corps. sued for trademark infringement, and was awarded $80,000 in 1981. Part of this judgement was Apple Computer's agreement not to distribute music.



When Apple Computers started to offer Midi music functionality in the late '80s, Apple Corps. sued them again and won $26.5 million in 1991. But when the iTunes Music Store and the iPod appeared in 2003, Apple Corps sued again... and somehow lost their case.

Finally, in 2007, the two companies announced a confidential agreement in which ownership of all of the trademarks related to "Apple" (including all  Apple Corps logos) went to Apple Inc. (as Apple Computers was now known) the Corps licensing its trademarks back for continued use. Rumours said that $500 million had changed hands.

From then on, the two brands got along. The Beatles finally came to iTunes, while their 2010 remastered CDs and records from the late '60s featured the familiar green apple.

Yesterday, Cult of Mac announced that "the Canadian IP Office has just disclosed that the Beatles’ iconic recording label is now Apple, Inc. registered trademark."

According to original source, Patently Apple:
The Canadian database records show that there was unsuccessful opposition to Apple owing the logo by a company named Apple Box Productions Sub Inc.. The Canadian IP Office database shows that Apple Inc. has since been granted the registered trademark. As we reported, Apple originally filed for the famed Apple Corps logo trademark in Europe in March 2011.
And so, a '60s brand that was known for losing money and giving stuff away is now owned by a 21st century brand known for being overpriced and proprietary.



Thanks to Boing Boing for the tip.

This post was written on a MacBook Pro, while listening to Abbey Road on an iPhone 4.


Friday, May 25, 2012

The most offensive ad you will see this week #FdAdFriday



AdFreak explains,
Adweek's resident Portuguese expert, Nick Mrozowski, who sent us this link about the spot, tells us the attack is supposed to be a play on the site's name: "Vai Bater can translate literally to 'go hit,' but the name of the site is more likely a reference to a heartbeat, as in 'a sua coração vai bater,' or 'your heart will beat,' as in, these events are exciting … and maybe you'll find a better girlfriend there.
Vaibater. There's a brand the world could do without. And I wonder how Apple feels about the iPad product placement...

Think different (about domestic abuse)

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Zooey Deschanel has officially run out of cuteness in this depressing iPhone ad


Watching the sometimes too-adorable actress phone in a half-assed performance to the half-assed writing of this iPhone spot was almost depressing.


And, as Death + Taxes notes, "really? you’re getting tomato soup delivered?"

But perhaps the worst part of this is the over-promising of Siri's conversationality, as this nerdy guy demonstrates:


Gah.

Friday, March 23, 2012

"Geometric Porn" is not coming on your iPhone #FdAdFriday

"Something abstract existing in thought or as an idea but not having a physical or concrete existence. Visual geometry containing the non-explicit description of sexual organs or activity. Arising in the mind it intends to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings."

I never thought math could be so dirty. Watch the demo videos, by Luciano Foglia, if you dare to enter the abstractly sexual world of Geometric Porn.

The designer himself says:

"Suitable for children. While there are innumerable ways that pornography harms children, Geometric Porn will not traumatise them in any way. The content of this website is suitable for children aged 4 or over 4+."

Nonetheless, Apple rejected the app, stating:
"Apps that present excessively objectionable or crude content will be rejected. We found that many audiences would find your app concept objectionable, which is not in compliance with the App Store Review Guidelines."
 Judge for yourself...


Geometric Porn App Preview from Luciano Foglia on Vimeo.



   

He also sells t-shirts:

Tip via kottke

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Siri hates the Scots

"The best laid schemes o' mice and men gang aft agley!!!"

Voice recognition is an awkward thing. After reading that the new iPhone's digital assistant can't understand Scottish accents, YouTube comic thegavin2000 (actually :"Godfather of hipsterdom" Gavin McInnes - see below) made this wee parody:



Via BoingBoing

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I could never get a Samsung. I'm Creative.

"I could never get a Samsung. I'm Creative."


Samsung takes aim at iPhone fans in this new ad. Will it convert the Apple faithful? Not likely. (Especially with the burn, above.)

But will it appeal to those outside the brand? Absolutely.



Via Illegal Advertising

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

McDonald's provides the best unintentional Mac ad ever

You always knew they were a Big Mac supporter. (Groan)

Adland's editor, Åsk, shared this image on Google+ last night, and I was able to track it back to here.

Click to supersize

It is claimed to be an authentic McDonald's wifi setup guide, with parallel Windows and Mac instructions. (Is Linux on the back?)

For all the reasons I have to hate Apple, this is a good reminder why I love them too.

If you know this to be a hoax, or can provide corroborating sightings, please let me know

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Apple iPayforsex?

The news on ZDNet is that SugarSugar, "The world's most effective and discreet place for finding Sugar Daddy and Sugar Baby relationships" will be launching “an innovative mobile application for locating singles interested in the ’sugar’ lifestyle’” for the iPhone, iPod touch, iPad, Android, and BlackBerry on June 1st.

You can forgive the typo. They're obviously in love.
"SugarSugar.com is for generous men looking to spoil, and dynamic women looking for financial support with bills, or who just need some excitement in life! Started by a real sugar baby, SugarSugar.com only accepts true, proven sugar daddies and sugar babies, and provides a staff of sugar dating experts to help you find the perfect mutually beneficial arrangement.

Sugar Daddy relationships are as old as mankind itself. Men have a natural instinct to surround themselves with beauty, and women have always sought out the security of a mature, financially stable man. While these aren't the only qualifications for a good dating experience, they are a good place to start!

Women: never worry about money again!
Men: join the only dating site where women outnumber you by 8-to-1.

Begin finding your perfect Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby by creating your free profile now. Start living the sweet life!"

The sweet life of transactional sex.


Nobody can believe that Apple's famously prudish App Store approved this. We'll have to see if it actually makes it through.

Monday, April 4, 2011

The race to the middle

This comic by The Joy of Tech is painful to read because it's so damned true. As technology moguls and social media platform nabobs keep stealing each other's best ideas in a rush of "me too", we're left with a choice between vanilla and vanilla.

Convergence isn't always a good thing. I especially hate it when people post the same update on Twitter, Linkedin and Facebook. Every time I see a hashtag on my Facebook wall, I feel broadcast at. And Amazon, a place where I occasionally buy CDs and books, keeps trying to be Wall-Mart. (Or even worse, to be my friend.)

I like my brands specialized, focussed on doing one or two things better than everyone else. When they all have similar offerings, I don't know who I'm supposed to connect with where. The whole thing loses intimacy in the noise of too many channels and offerings. But perhaps I'm part of a dying breed.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Homophobia? There's an app for that!

UPDATE: Apple gave them the boot.


Apple is known for a policy of "we won't publish our morality standards for apps, but we know objectionable content when we see it."

The iPhone Development Blog suggests the following no-nos:
  • Nudity is off limits, even with a 17+ rating.
  • For women in bikinis, images are rejected seemingly at random. One reviewer will object to a particular image and pass others, the next reviewer will find an objectionable image in the batch that the first reviewer passed. And on it goes.
  • Anything related to politicians will most likely be rejected.
Some recent rejected apps have included books with naughty words, a picture of a knife that made "slasher" sounds, a religious photo parody thing, and anti-seal-clubbing game, and others.

But what the App Store's reviewers clearly have no objection to is anti-gay apps.

The Atlantic reports that "More than 90,000 people have signed a petition hosted on Change.org demanding that Apple remove an application from the iTunes Store that promises to deliver 'freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus Christ.'"

The app, by conservative Christian group Exodus International, earned a 4+ rating from Apple, which Exodus points out means that  "applications in this category contain no objectionable material".

The group is entirely dedicated to "curing" homosexuality. From their site:
Exodus International believes… that God created us as human beings in His image as male and female and that the only biblically sanctioned expression of sexuality is between a man and a woman who are married to one another. Exodus International believes that our biological sex is not open to limitless self-created categories, but has boundaries determined by God, our Creator.
And:
Exodus International believes… that the health of individuals, children and our culture is intimately linked to the well being of natural marriage and its biblical intention — a sacred, legal, and social union ordained by God to be a life-long, sexually exclusive relationship between one man and one woman.
People have a right to their beliefs, but lets remember that, couched in this polite language, is the assertion that gay people are choosing to sin against God, and denying their own "normal" biology.

While I don't wish to pollute my iPhone by checking out the app in person, Exodus was kind enough to provide screen grabs in their press release:

Looks so harmless...

As of this writing, it's still there. But it may not be for long.

Last year, Apple approved — then pulled — The Manhattan Declaration, another app that opposed gay marriage on religious grounds after being petitioned to do so.

These are challenging times for American marketers. And while I am offended by the content of the Exodus app, I am also concerned by Apple's seemingly arbitrary management of standards. As a business, they're primarily interested in appealing to the maximum number of people possible by being as neutral and inoffensive as possible. (While in private contributing $100K to No to Prop 8.)

This is a dangerous game. Apple would to well to set, and maintain, consistent standards for app content that reflect modern human rights. Would they support an app that offered to "cure" someone of their ethnicity or gender, no wonder how gently worded? The idea that natural homosexuality does not exist, and that it is a mental disorder in need of a cure, is a belief that people are "allowed" to have in private. But so are theories of racial superiority. That doesn't mean it's a suitable topic for a über-controlled brand like Apple to endorse.

That petition, once again, is hosted on Change.org. For some reason, I think that most of Exodus' supporters are PCs.