Selling higher education with library sex

University and college marketing are a challenge. When you approach the subject, you tend to either focus on the benefits (graduates getting jobs, making a difference) or you focus on creative a more emotively attractive brand for youth.

This recruitment ad for the French-language Université de Moncton is definitely the latter:

According to the CBC, student reactions to the video are mixed.

Simon Paulin told them, "​I can understand how they are trying to bring popularity to it because young people think about it a lot. But still I don't think they should focus on that. It's not really professional, cause we're here to learn."

Another, Sebastien Mallet, said "I thought that's awesome. I really enjoyed it. I think that's what young students want to see. There is some controversy over the little kiss in the library, but its not the point of the publicity."

Oddly, the only woman interviewed was from the faculty (she hated it).

It's certainly not a particularly academic approach, but the strategy is clearly to position the university as one that belongs to francophones in the Maritimes. ("À l'Université de Moncton, notre langue c'est le français. Et nous en sommes fiers." means "At the University of Moncton, our language is French. And we're proud of [it].")

Francophone Maritimers, the Acadians, have a unique, tragic, and inspirational history in Canada. Unlike Quebec, which was incorporated into Canada (following English conquest) with its language, Civil Law and religion more-or-less intact, the Acadians were forced to either pledge loyalty to their English conquerors or flee. Many went south to Louisiana (to become Cajuns) while others resettled in the sparsely-populated edges of the eastern colony. Today, however, their communities thrive in New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, and Prince Edward Island. New Brunswick is Canada's only officialy bilingual province.

Acadian pride makes sense as a brand foundation for U Moncton, especially since Maritimers have been moving away to make a living in Canada's western oil patch for a generation. Now that oil prices are down, young Maritimers might be more apt to pursue a life closer to home.

Yes, with all the talk about campus rape perhaps focussing on sex is questionable for university advertising. But perhaps this ad, going so far as to make a pun on the shared word for "language" and "tongue," is purposely distancing itself from the conservative, English-dominated, universities in New Brunswick and its neighbouring Atlantic provinces.

Besides, that kiss looked pretty consensual.

I'd like to hear some feedback from French-speaking readers on this. Too commercial? Too sexy? Or people taking things too seriously?

Toronto printer "quotes" Jian Ghomeshi on mailer

Jezebel 

Using, or parodying, a famous quote is one of the laziest creative tricks in the book. But Toronto's Corktown Printing Co. decided to take it in an extra-creepy direction by doing a word-for-word sendup of Jian Ghomeshi. 

The ex-CBC radio host was fired over accusations that he hit, choked, and otherwise abused women on dates going back years. 

When he was first fired, Ghomeshi wrote a Facebook rant outing himself as a BDSM enthusiast, and painting himself as a victim of corporate prudery. Part of it read:

Let me be the first to say that my tastes in the bedroom may not be palatable to some folks. They may be strange, enticing, weird, normal, or outright offensive to others. We all have our secret life. But that is my private life. That is my personal life. And no one, and certainly no employer, should have dominion over what people do consensually in their private life.

Here's the inside of the Mailer:

Jezebel 

Ghomeshi's attempt at rallying sympathy was quickly overtaken by an expose of his non-consensual abuse of women on dates and sexual harassment of colleagues. Since then, several women have come forward to media with creepily similar stories about his violence, including Trailer Park Boys actress (and RCAF Captain) Lucy DeCoutere and author Reva Seth.

Jezebel reports that a spokesperson for Corktown didn't see any problem with the mailer. "It's a little satire," she told them. "There's no intention for it to be offensive."

The mailer was created by Toronto's Agency Next Door, and has been featured on their Facebook Page for more than two weeks.

There was just an intention to make light of a high-profile case of violence against women. Nothing offensive in that, is there?

Montreal cinema owner inflames Twitter with "Hockey Widow" promo

If there's one Canadian stereotype that has a strong basis in reality, it's not weird pronunciations of "out" or niceness — it's an obsession with hockey. The game is deeply rooted in our culture. While not every Canadian is a hockey fanatic, it's safer to assume a Canadian has a favourite hockey team than a favourite type of poutine.

Which makes it all the more baffling that a cinema chain in Montreal, "the Mecca of Hockey," would so casually insult female Habs fans by running a women-only promotion for "Hockey Widows" on game nights.

The CBC has compiled a collection of Tweets about the issue, including cinema owner Vincenzo Guzzo's defensive non-apologies.

@HamJam_9 Where is the insult? She isn't naked or in sex cloths or mopping the floors or doing other steriotipical BS thing that we see...
— Vincenzo Guzzo (@Guzzo_Vincenzo) October 14, 2014

@JessRusnak Wanted to reward women. Anything wrong with giving a benefit to women only? Maybe Senior discounts should also be given to all!
— Vincenzo Guzzo (@Guzzo_Vincenzo) October 14, 2014

Oh well. Canada's women's national ice hockey team has won gold in the past four Olympics, and is one of the winningest teams in history. So I guess it will take more than a sexist local cinema promotion to turn Canadian women away from the game.

Fishing lodge asks that you not give booze to the "Native Guides"

My Brother-In-Law, David Finkle, is a musician and traditional craftsperson here in Ottawa. He is also a part of Canada's First Nations communities. He sent me this bit of old-timey racism that is circulating from the guidebook of a Manitoba fishing lodge:

The backlash has been swift and severe.

Chief Arlen Dumas, of the Mathias Colomb Cree Nation (the "Indian guides" referenced) told the CBC, “The statements are so outrageous. Not only does he offend the very people that provide him his livelihood … he insults all indigenous people in North America.”

Chief Dumas wrote an open letter to the owners of the lodge, which operates on traditional Mathias Colomb Cree territory. They have yet to respond.

Meanwhile the lodge's Facebook page has become the target of a massive (and justified) airing of grievances:

"Unbelievable that in this day and age there exists such ignorance and overt racism. I grew up in the times of 'no dogs or Indians allowed' signs and thought it was at least fading, but this shows that sadly, it is not," wrote Robin Maracle. 

"Bravo, you have completely alienated your workforce, your community and an entire nation," wrote Cynthia Mandeville. 

"The best thing to do would be to turn this into an opportunity to educate yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. The right thing to do is to apologize and move toward making things better," wrote Karen SC.

Many cited a post by âpihtawikosisân, a Montreal Métis blogger who addressed the "drunken Indian" stereotype and myths with stats and references. It's worth a read.

The problem of retro brand racism

Via CBC

When I was a kid, this kind of stereotyping on native people was simply part of the landscape. We had "Indian" costumes, wallets, fake tomahawks and plastic soldiers. And the brands around us reflected this casual racism.

But the potato chip packaging above is not from the 1970s. Krispy Kernels snack foods, of Quebec, decided to reintroduce their old packaging as a "vintage edition," according to the CBC.

Vintage bag, via Yum Yum

Interestingly, the old design was in use until 1990, when the Oka Crisis forced a more sensitive re-evaluation of Aboriginal issues in Canada.

While there is a certain value in recognizing how much things have changed in the past few decades, the ironic use of such a stereotype for marketing purposes seems at best misguided and at worst ignorantly racist.

It gets even worse: The company has an in-store contest that encourages people to take pictures of theor faces in a standee of a loinclothed "little Indian":

Both images via CJAD

Upon launch, Valérie Jalbert, CEO of Yum Yum Chips and Krispy Kernels, and Renee-Maude Jalbert, marketing director of Yum Yum Chips , happily posed with the campaign for La Presse.

Irkar Beljaars, a Montreal-based Mohawk journalist, told the CBC:

“It's just like ‘look at that, I'm pretending to be an Indian. You're just perpetuating racial stereotypes. You're just continuing to mock us by doing things like this.”

Interestingly, Krispy Kernels claims the packaging is a nod to the legendary founder of the potato chip (disputed), who was Native American:

It all began one August night when a customer, offended by the greasy taste of his french-fried potatoes, sent them back to the kitchen. Chef George Crum, who was of Native American descent (which inspired the Yum Yum logo), was equally offended by this return. Averse to criticism, Crum decided to seek revenge and furiously chopped up a new batch of potatoes. Slicing them as thin as paper, he threw them in a boiling hot oil-filled fryer and removed them once crisp and golden. He then seasoned them heavily and served his dish to the picky patron.

The company said the caricature on the package is a return to the company's roots, and is not meant to be mocking.

The campaign page has since been taken down.

This could be the worst Facebook ad of all time

DIY Facebook ads have long been problematic. Cheap to buy (you only pay for the clicks) and easy to create, they lend themselves to the worst sorts of hucksters.

But even worse is the practice of stealing photos for Facebook ads. It not only hurts the credibility and privacy of people who find themselves appearing to endorse random and often inappropriate things. In some cases it can be downright cruel:

According to the CBC, this Facebook ad is for a German internet dating site. (I blocked out the URL. Please don't give them traffic or PR!)

If you don't recognize the face in the ad, that's Rehtaeh Parsons, a Canadian teen who committed suicide last April after being raped at a party while too intoxicated to consent, and experiencing extreme online sexual harassment and abuse when photos of the crime were circulated among her peers.

Whether the company used the photo accidentally or on purpose is unknown. The web site the ad directs to is no longer online.

After outrage over the ad, first spotted by a Facebook user in Toronto, caused outrage, Facebook pulled the ad:

"This is an extremely unfortunate example of an advertiser scraping an image and using it in their ad campaign," a spokesperson from Facebook wrote in a statement, calling this a gross violation of their advertising policies. "We apologize for any harm this has caused."

For once, an organization famous for being so afraid of women's bodies that it even censors the word "breast" in an a non-sexual context is doing the right kind of censorship.

Nova Scotia consent ads take heat for blunt sexual language

Via CBC

A campaign about consent by the government of Nova Scotia has provoked mixed reactions from the very groups it hopes to champion, in the post-Rehtaeh conversation about consent and rape culture.

According to the CBC, Sherri Bain, an advocate for survivors of assault, questioned the approach:

"Their design team, I think, missed the mark,” she said. She worries the message could be misinterpreted. 

"For someone driving by, if they're seeing 'take me' and 'do me,' I'm concerned that it may do exactly the opposite of what they're intending," she said. "Our city needs to find another way to advertise besides being so overtly sexual."

A later article adds:

...since the ads have gone up, some young women and groups that work with victims of sexual violence have complained in media reports that they don't explain clearly enough that consent from someone who has been drinking or taking drugs does not qualify as true consent for sex.

Via Global

Global News also posted this shot of the call-to-action from the posters:

The campaign site, novascotia.ca/ask, positions information about drugs and alcohol very prominently.

The ads were created by Communications Nova Scotia (the Chronicle-Herald says Stir Creative) following focus group research with male and female youth. While one woman participant has come forward to say she was assured the ads would never run, the findings from the male groups convinced Marilyn More, Nova Scotia's minister of labour and advanced education, to stand by the campaign:

"They told us this is the kind of campaign they would respond to, [that] it made a difference in how they thought about consent for sexual activity," she said. 

"Quite frankly, I don't think there is a perfect ad campaign that means the same to everyone in this province but we had to start somewhere."

Personally, I'm not in love with the art direction of these ads. But the fact that they have people in national mainstream media talking about the complexities of sexual consent is a "win" as far as social marketing goes. I only wish the province had released the posters in full, so those media wouldn't have to run smartphone shots of the creative.

The Israeli-Palestinian conflict: Coming to a bus near you?

Vancouver's Skytrain has been put in the middle of a bloody political conflict that many Canadians would rather not talk about.

According to the CBC, this poster was placed by The Palestine Awareness Coalition on TransLink media in Greater Vancouver.

Here's their side of the story:

The realities of Palestinian land loss are on display in Vancouver, as a new series of transit ads has been posted at the Vancouver City Centre SkyTrain station and on 15 TransLink buses, on August 27, 2013. The ads, created by the Palestine Awareness Coalition, made up of seven Vancouver-area peace and justice groups, depict the “disappearance” of Palestine due to Israeli occupation over the past 66 years. 

“The goal of the advertising campaign is to make the Canadian public aware of Israel’s steady absorption of Palestinian territory from 1946 to the present day and the constant oppression that accompanies that occupation,” said Martha Roth of Independent Jewish Voices, one of the groups in the coalition. 

And here is another POV from the Jewish Federation of Greater Vancouver:

It is our assessment that these advertisements distort history, are malicious and essentially question the legitimacy of Israel’s right to exist as a Jewish state. 

We believe it is no coincidence that this advertising campaign will coincide with the sacred holy days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. 

TransLink—the regional transit authority—has a clearly defined set of advertising policies and guidelines, which restrict the display of ads that make public transit unwelcoming for any ethnic or racial group—the appropriateness of which has been affirmed by the Supreme Court of Canada. 

As the advocacy arm of Jewish Federation of Greater Vancouver, CIJA | Pacific Region has addressed this issue directly with TransLink—both with members of its Board and its Management—and has asked the transit authority to comply with its stated policies and withdraw its approval for the ads. 

TransLink has since confirmed that they have reviewed the matter and that they recognize the offensive and provocative nature of the advertisements. Despite our view that the advertisements contravene TransLink’s own policies, TransLink has decided to proceed with allowing the advertisements to be displayed. 

Public opinion toward Israel will not change as a result of these ads. Support for Israel locally, provincially and federally across the political spectrum has never been stronger.The objective of the sponsoring groups is clear: to gain publicity for their marginalized views, which fall outside of mainstream Canadian opinion. Countering these ads in the public domain (on buses, for example) would only raise the profile and lend credibility to these marginal groups. 

Our community is strengthened by its diversity of opinions and views. However, on the core issue of Israel’s right to exist as an independent Jewish state in peace and security – we stand together.

And here is TransLink's statement:

TransLink does not endorse nor advocate any position put forward by outside advertisers. In addition, as a public agency, TransLink's advertising policy cannot violate freedom of expression under the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Freedom of expression is a protected right under the Charter. 

TransLink does not have the legal authority to deny ads as long as the ads comply with the Code of Canadian Advertising Standards, other laws such as the Human Rights Act and TransLink's Advertising Policy. This is in accordance with a 2009 Supreme Court of Canada decision that struck down the portion of TransLink's Advertising Policy that prohibited advocacy ads. 

The Disappearing Palestine ad was referred to the Canadian Advertising Standards office for review by Lamar (the contracted agency that oversees ad placements and buys on our transit system) prior to its placement. In addition, TransLink sought a third-party legal opinion about this ad with regard to the Canadian Charter. That legal advice noted the Supreme Court of Canada decided that TransLink is subject to the Charter in its role as the host of advertising. 

If TransLink accepts advertising, it must not restrict content, (i.e., the freedom of expression of its advertising customer or potential customer under Section 2(b) of the Charter) except in accordance with Section 1 of the Charter which makes all Charter Rights subject to "such reasonable limits prescribed by law as can be demonstrably justified in a free and democratic society." TransLink has been advised that no such "limit prescribed by law" would prohibit the Disappearing Palestine advertisement under TransLink's Advertising Policy, the Canadian Code of Advertising Standards, or other applicable "law" such as the Human Rights Act. 

We appreciate that some advertisements on the transit system may cause concern for customers. However, our advertising policy is posted online and guides all advertising on TransLink property. Concerns about this ad - or any advertising on the transit system - can be referred to the Canadian Advertising Standards office. 

As a transparent public organization, we continue to uphold the laws of our country while we work to provide the best possible customer service. We hope concerned customers understand that within defined limits TransLink has no legal authority to decline advertising content.

So here we have three ways of looking at an ad. The Palestine Awareness Coalition was careful to keep it factual and historical/geographical, which got Code approval. The Jewish Federation of Greater Vancouver was correct in seeing the placement and timing as deliberately provocative and polarizing — but they provoked back harder by referring to the Palestinians as having "marginalized views". (As a messaging geek, I have to point out that they should have used "marginal" since "marginalized" implies deliberate attempts to push into obscurity.) TransLink is complying with the Charter, which overrules their own ad policy. What else can they do?

So, who's in the right? Here in Canada, where we'd rather not think about our own past of Protestant vs. Catholic, and English vs. French (not to mention European vs. Aboriginal) violence, it's always difficult when other imported conflicts cause divisions between friends  in our multicultural society.

 Let's just hope some constructive discussion comes out of this.

UPDATE: The campaign is planned to run in other Canadian cities as well.

Awkward contextual ad on VIA terror plot news

Today, the RCMP announced the arrest of two men in connection with an "al-Qaeda-supported" plan to attack a VIA Rail passenger train in Canada. And this ad appeared above it.

This kind of thing actually happens all the time, from awkward grizzlies to PETA hamburgers. It's pretty much unavoidable in a major internet campaign.

A friend shared this unfortunate screenshot of a VIA ad above the CBC story. I can't seem to reproduce the combination through multiple refreshes, so I'll assume that VIA's media people caught it early. But not before someone else caught it for posterity.

Wheat Board ad uses ironic pin-up, takes a threshing

Using images from more sexist eras in modern ads can be tricky business. If people trust your motives, it can be sassy and ironic. But if your motives are questionable, it can just make you look out-of-touch.

I will guess that the ad above, created for the Canadian Wheat Board, was intended to be sassy and ironic. But it was not taken that way. According to Adfreak's David Kiefaber, "The ad has drawn criticism from the National Farmer's Union for using what critics say is an irrelevant and sexist image to hype the Wheat Board's services."

The CBC has more:

"What an image of a long-legged woman straddling a fence has to do with selling grain is beyond me," Joan Brady, NFU women’s president said in a news release. 

Brady said the CWB apparently doesn't realize that women are farmers and make decisions about who they want to do business with. 

"Whether in our own right or in partnership, we are deeply involved in all aspects of farming," she said.

I think the problem here is that the Wheat Board is in an industry that is perceived as conservative and old-school. So even if they approved the image as a way to seem more hip, because of the context they were taken at face value. You could advertise a bar or a rock concert with this. But perhaps it's too soon for a big agriculture to be postmodern.

The image is a 1969 Gil Elvgren pin-up titled "Hi-Ho, Silver". 

Sexist ads about the NHL lockout in 3... 2...

...too late. It already happened.

This one is from Crown Royal's Facebook feed. It camed with the caption, "Anyone else cry into their glass of Crown when they heard lock out news? This pretty much sums up how we feel."

Although if you blinked, you would have missed it. It was almost immediately taken down from the public feed. It lives on, however, in their photo albums.

Why is it a problem? This is Canada. Hockey counts many, many women among its fans here. And they're just as hardcore as the men.

In fact, when the CBC launched a "woman-friendly" sports streaming site called "While the Men Watch, " and angry fan noted, in an editorial in Maclean's magazine:

Jaclyn Garfinkle, a 23-year-old sports fanatic and an associate producer at TSN’s Off the Record, thinks While the Men Watch is grossly “miscalculated” in its assumption that women don’t know about sports. “I think it’s somewhat ridiculous,” she says. “I think females in Canada are really underestimated in terms of how much they watch hockey.”

Women play hockey here, too. And they're good at it.

The whisky brand may be trying to appeal to a male audience, but it's too bad they have to do it with such outdated ideas about men and women. Appealing to some guys' anti-arts sentiments at the cost of angering female sports fans just doesn't seem worth it.

Local burger joint offers to fight anorexia

CBC Ottawa has a story about this food court ad, for local burgerjoint Manhattan Burgers, that caught the eye of psychology student Genevieve Hayden.

"That's not the kind advertising that anorexia and mental health illnesses need to get," she told the media. "They need to get positive advertising about how it is a real issue and not 'eat this burger and you'll be okay.'"

She's absolutely right, but the controversy that followed highlights the difficulties of using humour in advertising in a more sensitive age.

The restaurant owner, Fauzy Kaddoura, responded, "That's where I think the disease starts out, doesn't it? Most people worry about their figure. They think they're too big and they stop eating. And I was just thinking this is sort of the opposite."

It was an honest mistake, born of ignorance about the disease. And to his credit, Mr. Kaddoura decided to change it anyway, suggesting "Help us fight the diet craze."

Much better—it's actually what he was trying to say in the first place. And another potentially acrimonious conflict gets settled Canadian-style.

Oyster campaign accidentally promotes dirty BJs

Urban Dictionary defines a salty kiss as, "A kiss given after a girl has given oral sex to another guy. Generally within 15 minutes."

But let's face it — Urban Dictionary is mostly an exercise in creating naughty neologisms that nobody really uses. I'm not sure there's any combination of common words on there that is not claimed to describe an adolescent boy's idea of a funny sexual act.

So good on P.E.I. Fisheries Minister Ron MacKinley and executive director of the P.E.I. Aquaculture Alliance Ann Worth for shrugging off the non-controversy of this promotional poster.

Mister MacKinley told CBC, "let's face it, anytime anybody thinks of oysters at a bar or somewhere, sex does come up.”

Ms. Worth added, “Everybody knows that common words are interpreted in different ways by different people, particularly in the online world. I don't think that we feel that there is any sort of direct relationship to anything, other than wholesome, nutritious.”

Birch Hill, PEI resident Gary MacKay started the fuss when a Toronto friend with too much time on his hands sent him a link to UD. 

“Obviously no one in any of the partnership bothered to check things out or to follow due diligence. Once people start checking, PEI will become a laughing stock of Canada,” Mr MacKay said. “This is an embarrassment to tourists, producers, the oyster and all the citizens of PEI in general.”

Via Tobacco Ave.

Well, not really. Mister MacKinley was right to point out that oysters are, indeed, sexual no matter how you shuck 'em. Casanova famously ate 60 of the unmistakably vagina-esque shellfish for breakfast every day before setting out to cuckold half of Venice.

We're not laughing at PEI. We are laughing with them.

Beauty and the beastly business of quantifying it

The speed and temporary nature of social media feeds lead to some interesting contrasts.

In my Facebook newsfeed yesterday, I first took note of a Design Taxi link posted by Marc from Osocio about "The World’s Scientifically Most Beautiful Woman".

Here she is:

18-year-old student Florence Colgate has the most naturally perfect face, according to a British lifestyle show's nationwide search.

“Florence has all the classic signs of beauty,” Carmen Lefèvre, of The Perception Lab at the University of St Andrews’ School of Psychology, told The Daily Mail. “She has large eyes, high cheekbones, full lips and a fair complexion. Symmetry appears to be a very important cue to attractiveness.”

Along with — apparently — blonde hair, blue eyes and light, unblemished skin.

I won't even get into the Nordicism of all this. (The Mail actually called her "'Britain's most beautiful face".) There have been enough blogposts about that issue already. I'm more interested in the parts that sociobiologists have tried to rationalize.

For example, symmetry is seen as a sign of good genes and good health. Maladaptive mutations, as well as childhood disease and injury, can affect symmetry. It's seen as a way to advertise good health and disease resistance — in other words, that person is a good source of healthy babies.

The other features are ethnically specific. Blonde hair and big blue eyes are what are known as "neoteny" — that is, babylike features kept into adulthood. All humans are very neotenic apes, retaining our round-headed juvenile chimp features throughout our lives.

Via pbase

The loss of pigment that gave northern people lighter skin is also an adaptive mutation to absorb more vitamin D from less sun exposure. I personally believe that lightening of skin and eyes in parts of those populations came along for the ride, then got amplified by sexual selection because youth is attractive.

But Darwin I ain't.

The other link I was going to mention was actually directly above Marc's "beauty" link. It was a CBC story titled, "Ugly Meter app worries cyber bullying activists"

A smartphone app allows users to assess their own symmetry based on some unknown standards. It's like "Hot or Not", but without the subjectivity of human feedback.

According to uglymeter.net:

"How ugly are you? For over 3 million users, Ugly Meter has been the go-to iPhone App that won’t lie when it comes to determining how attractive or ugly you are. Just snap a picture of yourself (or someone else) in the app and hit the scan button. The Ugly Meter will scan your face and determine just how ugly you are and dispense advice accordingly. Ugly Meter then allows you to post the results to Facebook or Twitter."

I wonder about the ethnic standards of beauty behind this, too. Although my own northern Euro ancestry doesn't seem to have helped much:

I blame the lighting.

I tried a few more times, and found that the insults got pretty creative.

To test the baseline, I tried scanning a screenshot of Miss Colgate:

Clearly, the creators of this app and the people behind the British talent search read the same books. Or something.

But then what happens when I scan a head-on glamour pic of Iman, a woman so ethereally beautiful, she got David Bowie to settle down:

I must have held the camera funny. I'll try again:

Ummm...

But hey, there was nothing scientific about this (mostly because I don't have all day to fart around with my iPhone). If you don't mind giving them your 99¢, you can find out for yourself what "beautiful" really means.

(I'll update this post with more scans, as I get a chance.)

Adriana Lima

Grace Park

George Clooney (a reader request by Rachel)

Barbie

Sometimes, it just seems random. Watch what happens when I scanned the face of late-'70s David Bowie, two different times.

Was it the misplaced cursor that made all the difference? (Good thing I didn't shoot him in full Aladdin Sane makeup.)

"Merry Christmas" is not a dirty word (okay, "words")

Via Shutterstock

Merry Christmas, dammit. That is not a religious statement to me. I may come from a Christian-based culture, but Christmas has far outgrown its origins as a religious holiday. It's secular to me. Pagan tree totems, Coca-Cola Santas, Rudolf cartoons... you can get through the entire season without once being filled with the Love of Christ. And I like it that way.

Our days of the week are named after gods who no longer hold sway over us, as they did over some of our ancestors. For a thousand plus years, as Christianity spread Borg-like through the western world, it assimilated all the sundry bits of tradition in found along the way. Finally, it met its match with the growing consumerism and over-the-top sentimentalism of the 19th Century, and the holiday we know today started to take shape.

Our Christmas is a Victorian invention. And it is a mostly secular thing now, celebrated by countless non- and ex-Christians around the world.

Sure, there are still people who enjoy the religious aspects. Great. But they no longer own the holiday. It is a cultural festival that belongs to everyone who wants to share a nice tradition of sharing time, gifts and food and drink with people during the year's darkest days.

Want an example that doesn't come from me? My brother David sent me a CBC article about this Christmas video made by international students from the University of Windsor:



I also love this quote from the article: "From all types of religions and beliefs and non-religions, too, nobody has ever felt bad about it," said international student advisor Henrique Chacon. "They feel included when somebody comes to them and says, 'merry Christmas.'"

Merry Christmas, Henrique. And Merry Christmas to the rest of you. You can keep your "Happy Holidays". I never did like generic brands.

Veterans fighting over the flower of peace

CBC reports that The Royal Canadian Legion is threatening legal action against another Canadian veteran group for using a red poppy as part of their logo.

The Legion, don't you know, trademarked the red plastic lapel poppy as a symbol of remembering Canada's war dead. They're the ones you're supporting when you pick one up at the liquor store.

Last year, the Legion threatened action against another group, who had designed a white poppy to represent peace.

This year's legal letter, from the IP firm Ridout and Maybee LLP to Canadian Veteran Freedom Riders (CVFR), says "We must insist that the CVFR and all of its members immediately cease all use of trademarks or other indicia incorporating the Legion's protected mark 'poppy design' and any of the Legion poppy trademarks."

Apparently, according to the Trademarks Act, every group must legitimately apply to the Legion use the poppy in any way.

A spokesman for the Legion said, "The poppy's a strong symbol, so when you see the poppy you automatically think it's for veterans and remembrance. Therefore, it must be legitimate all the time."
He added that if one organization is allowed to use the poppy, the flood gates would open for other groups.

The veteran bikers are not amused. "It's a slap in the face," said Capt. Michael Blow. "I'm a veteran, I wear that poppy for remembrance, I don't wear it for profit."

What on earth is wrong with the Royal Canadian Legion? They are acting like a soulless commercial brand protecting their stranglehold on a symbol. The moral "owner" of the poppy as a symbol for the war dead was Canadian soldier/poet John McCrae, who wrote "In Flanders Fields", but he died in the war (of disease, like many others). Following the publishing of his poem, the red poppy became the symbol of honouring war dead — and hoping for no more war — throughout the Commonwealth. The symbol, in essence, belongs to all of us. But it especially belongs to every Canadian who has served his or her country.

Good thing the Legion didn't take out a predatory trademark on the maple leaf, the beaver or the toque. Because then we'd have to ask permission to use any of our national symbols.

Awkward Grandma does the "Schweddy Balls" bit

Adfreak featured this new Canadian campaign (also featured on CBC) for Crosby's Molasses that was clearly inspired by the SNL "Schweddy Balls" skit with Alec Baldwin.



This time, though, the writing is a little more hamfisted and the delivery depends on people being made uncomfortable hearing an elderly lady make accidental sexual innuendoes.



What the 'Freaks may have missed, however, is that watching nice old ladies deliberately and explicitly talk about sex is completely normal in this country. At least it used to be:

Blog encourages Ontarians to vote with their... ummm...

CBC reports that a Toronto blogger is attempting to provoke interest in Ontario's upcoming provincial election by getting voters to decide which candidates are the "sexiest".



Zach Bussey wants visitors to his media site to decide between two male and two female candidates every day:

"We’ve sat down and looked at the candidates from Green, NDP, Liberal, PC and even the fringe parties to narrow down all of them to just 64! 32 male candidates and 32 female candidates who we’ve deemed to be attractive! Now, over the course of the next month, head-to-head matchups between these 64 attractive Ontario Election Candidates will battle for votes to determine who is the Sexiest Candidate! "

Yes, it's all a big joke (and a PR stunt for Zach, who seems to be launching a production company of some kind) but he told CBC that it's all for democracy:

"I don't want it to be taken seriously in the sense that 'this is how you should vote,'" Bussey said. "I give people more credit than that. But I do want it to be taken seriously in the sense that if you're going to vote here, get out and vote on October 6."

Obviously, both political purists and gender issues advocates are going to be irritated by this. Personally, I wish Zach had said that he was running a social commentary about the superficiality of modern politics.

(Taken from the site)

After all, it's no accident that our neighbours to the south have perhaps the handsomest President in living history (in addition to his inspirational brand) and that so many of his potential political challengers have been attractive conservative women.  Physical beauty is an essential component of charisma, which provides the emotional stimuli that make us think we like people. One would expect politicians to be taller, better poised and more attractive than not. (The success of an unattractive politician, in that context, is really a great tribute to his or her personality, intelligence, ideas and persuasiveness.)

So if anything useful can come out of this stupid social media stunt, perhaps it's that the outraged and amused coverage of it will get us taking a clear look at ourselves as sexist creatures of instinct, and starting a conversation about how to rise above that nature.

Toronto Argonauts accidentally make a bad joke

CBC reports that this season-opener ad for Toronto's football team has been pulled due to complaints:

Toronto city councillor Mike Layton wrote a letter to the Argos president Bob Nicholson, stating:

“While I understand the intended meaning, my concern is the unintended consequences. In the context of domestic violence, the ad insinuates that domestic violence in the home is acceptable or normal. The ad may also trigger traumatic responses in the many survivors of domestic violence who are courageously moving forward with their lives.”

David Bedford, the Argos' VP Marketing replied, "It's very clear it's a football player in a football uniform talking about promoting the opening game for a football team. I think it's pretty common knowledge that football is a contact sport and a physical game."

He did, however, add:

"We didn't look at it in the context of domestic violence and we probably should have, given that we've had a handful of complaints."

It's pretty understandable, both how the ad got approved and why people complained — especially considering the links between pro sports and domestic violence. Perhaps we can just chalk it up to learning experience.

KD kicks back at university nutrition program

According to CBC News, Dan Clapson, a Calgary food blogger and nutrition educator at the University of Calgary has been served with a cease and desist order from Kraft's legal team.

What did he do? He struck at the heart of the megabrand's target market with a healthy cooking course for university students called "Kick the KD".

The name itself is a little provocative, but what probably really poked the bear is the graphic used on his site:

The parody of Kraft's blue and orange Kraft Dinner box must have set alarm bells ringing at corporate. Especially since Canadian university students are known for consuming mass quantities of the dayglo starchy goop.

Dan's description states,

"In a nutshell, this is a pilot cooking program in association with the University of Calgary’s Students’ Union. Kick The KD is aimed at local students who are interested in expanding their culinary horizons. We understand that ‘quick and easy’ food is a perfect fit for the busy student life, but not everything that’s simple has to come out of a box or take-out container."

And this is a real issue. Not ever learning how to cook real food can lead top a lifetime of poor nutrition, poor health, obesity, diabetes, heart disease, cancer and early death.

Dan told CBC, "This program has been running for a while, so I was definitely surprised. I am just one person and I don't really feel comfortable picking a fight with a billion-dollar company."

He added a little more on his blog:

"I do appreciate the fighting spirit of my KTKD-ers (can I still call them that?), and I am as let down as they are that a small, fifteen person cooking class can’t use a name with ‘KD’ in the title. Using a nickname like ‘KD’ (again, not knowing it was trademarked), for me, encompassed any semblance of mac ‘n’ cheese (is that trademarked?) coming out of a cardboard box. The idea of this program was never to say: ‘Stop eating that right now, or else!’, it is meant to give students exposure to hands-on cooking, where they can see different dishes and think: ‘Ok, that was surprisingly easy and just as convenient as making a bowl of mac ‘n’ cheese!’"

But then, as a good cook, he attempts to make lemonade. Dan accepts his fate, and facing a May 2 deadline to find a new name, he has opened it up to crowdsourcing. (Just don't suggest "Ditch the Domino's" or "Dump The Double Down", okay?)

Although I expected better from KD. I mean, Canadians are going to make fun of Kraft Dinner, the same way we make fun of Timmy's coffee and Crappy Tire. It doesn't mean we hate these things. It's just the way we roll in Canada.

From Toronto Life

The fact that Kraft Dinner is a beloved meme here is a major force behind its popularity in Canada — that and its association with youthful excess.

Isn't there an internet rule about this?

We even loved when South Park, in lampooning Canadians with Terrence and Phillip, had them go on about Kraft Dinner (since Americans just call it "Mac 'n' Cheese).



Dan has probably gained a great deal of public goodwill from this episode, while Kraft — although presumably within their intellectual property rights — only looks like the bad guy with no sense of humour.

Sorry, KD. You suck. That's just the way it goes on the social internet.